Fan Fiction
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Breathe– Chapter 5
Well, James started, and by the tone of his voice Bette new she was in for a bit of teasing. Its amazing how much I can get done when I dont have a detective that knows little about gathering scientific data breathing down my neck. Bette could hear the smile in his voice.
Ouch..thats not fair, Bette responded. I always know exactly what I want, I am just a little fuzzy on the how and how long of my requests.
Seriously Bette, James tone changed a bit. We were all a little stunned when Jules said you left with a witness and didnt know if youd be back. In all the years weve worked together, I cant remember ever processing a crime scene without you, James paused hoping that Bette would now fill in the blanks.
Since she didnt even know the answer herself, she simply offered You saw the crime scene, James. It was horrific, a nightmare. I just had to get the roommate out of there. She didnt seem to be willing to go without me, so I finally convinced her to go with me, Bette finished hoping that this explanation would satisfy James and all that would attempt to solicit information from him rather than coming to Bette with their questions.
How is she? James asked indicating that he understood.
Asleep, Bette answered So, what do you have for me? she asked relieved that they could move on.
James knew the previous topic was now closed so he pressed forward, knowing the amount of information he had been able to gather so quickly would please the Detective.
Where do you want me to start, he asked. Time of death, fibers or blood splatter?
Bette leaned forward, now fully engaged in the conversation. You have blood splatter already? she asked impressed with James record speed. Computer model or silly string? Bette asked knowing this question would propel James down a the path of computer analysis versus the power of the human mind.
Blood splatter analysis was one of the true arts of forensic science. Based on the depth and width of a single splatter of blood, a gifted technician could determine the height and position of the suspect, the force of a blow, and in the case of a blood-splattered crime scene like this one, almost create a narrative of the series of events.
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(52 votes, average: 3.62 out of 5)
Great story, Sox. Re: formatting. The page generator is expecting html formatting to be embedded in your text. Manually adding a
or two at the beginning of each paragraph may be enough to make it readable for now.
Sorry Sox, forgot that I couldn’t use the actual html code within a comments box – it gets blanked out. So I’ll describe the key-symbols in longhand.
Basically you’ll be manually adding a
‘sharp parentheses left’ p ‘sharp parentheses right’
at the beginning of each paragraph.
I don’t normally comment, but I just love this story, so please keep writing….
DAMN WONDERFUL STORY AND CHAPTER….WHO CARES ABOUT THE FORMATTING, ALL I KNOW IS YOU MUST CONTINUE..PLEASE..I AM SITTING AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT AWESOME CHAPTER…PLEASE POST REAL SOON….THANKS
I don’t know why but your story makes me think about a great book (I don’t remember the title) and a movie with Denzel Washington, who was quadriplegic and Angelina Jolie. I think it’s the feeling of your story when I read it. It’s gripping. Thank you
I have to admit that I don’t watch any of the ‘crime’ shows on TV. They are too dark and depressing for me…all that violence and hatred in the world. But, I am totally and completely hooked on this story…and it is because of your writing. Thank you.
Sox, don’t even think about stopping, i absolutely love this story…keep it up..love it, love it.
Thank you.
OMG! What are you a Crime Scene Investigator? Your details are great, I really feel like I’m in this situation with them. I can’t wait to find out what happens next. PLEASE post again soon!
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don’t worry about the formatting, this is a great story, and I’m really looking forward to reading more of that.
what an amazing story, thanks sox! i can feel trouble brewing…keep ’em coming
dont care about the formatting either. just keep writing. this is so good. bette the protector. of course. dont wait long between posts and send it as is. thanks
oh god..is eric a killer trying to get back at tina? another great chapter keep going
Tina is in troble maybe she was the targett to begin with. Awsome story i am so hooked please post soon.
oh man I feel trouble coming Bette’s way. I love your story! continue soon please!!
This is great. Keep posting. We don’t care about the formatting.
wait… why did u stop writin, ur killin me here (pardon the really bad pun!)
Oh and in resposne to ur question abt u stoppin, do not do that. There cud be no spaces between the words and id still read it, lol! see how addicted u have made me. Really, thank you for writing Sox
DX
I read and don’t normally comment……..but you write so well, so clearly and have such a sense of timing when you write…..it makes me want more. Don’t worry at all about the formatting, just write.
Execllent. Don’t worry about the posting…had to read pages like this in university…and I survived!
This is great. I can hardly wait for your next post.
Sox,
Brilliant blending of The L Word and murder mystery.
Am wondering if it will be a whodunnit rather than an interesting plot device to put a new slant on a familiar relationship.
Anyhoo, that said, am just loving it.
You have a real flair for this type of story. The scenes have been slowly and seductively set-up, crisp fresh dialogue that fairly bumps along mixed in with some genuine intrigue.
Please continue this fabulous fan fic and bollocks to the formatting.
I have need to read.
Thanks for sharing your talent.
A Loyal Fan.
First time leaving a comment. This is an excellent story, looking forward to more chapters!
What powerful writing. Look forward to more.
god this is a really great story!!! lovin’ every chapter of it. reminds me too much of katherine v. forrest…words that leap off a page and capture the readers attention. thanxs for taking the time to share this with us.
a MOST gracious ten thumbs up to you and your story telling. continued success and cannot wait to read the concluding chapters.
Holy shit this guy is crazy! Bette go kick his ass and portect your soon to be woman is what I reckon should happen!
i love this story! please keep posting, i don’t care about the formatting.
intense!! :) keep writing…
Wonderful detail and scene layout. Are you in law enforcement or a CSI? If not, your research is awesome. Who is this guy or….could it be a female killer? How rare are female serial killers? Maybe a female Jeckel & Hyde? Can’t wait until your next installment.
sox – another great chapter – this mystery plus these characters makes for an intriquing heart-wrenchig new addition to my addiction for Bette and Tina. What can I say but thanks for writing so so beautifully. Are you a cop – you certainly seem to know your stuff??
This is a fantastic story and so well written – I don’t even care about the formatting!!!
damn women, you really have us holding our breathes, great story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t you dare stop writing while you fix the formatting!!!!! When the story is this captivating if flows regardless of formatting…and NO it’s not hard to read!!! Love it…waiting for MORE tks
I lover your story it is so well written I can’t get enough of it
Wow, I feel like I’m in the middle of a CSI episode with my favorite L word characters as the lead. Great blending of the two.
yea, formatting schmormatting, I am so hooked, I just love your writing style and the terrific suspense you build in your storytelling. Simply Awesome.
Did not see that coming!!!!
ok I think it’s jenny lmao sorry I just had to say that. don’t ask me why. oh and a brittney??, all I have to say is I hate that breed. now that’s out of my mouth let me start going on with the story,damm it’s getting good, thank you for the awesome csi info, makes your story so much better, and a special shoe. And the picture, so bette better wake tina’s ass up and get some anwsers right now. And the killer was at the crime scene, he must of followed bette to her house. who cares about the formatting, just as long as you are still posting. that’s all that matters
Loving it. The way you write dialogue is simply wonderful. Its so real and relaxed and never pushed. Dude I sound like a groupie, but then… I think I am one. LOL
This is scary and truoble is coming!