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    Breathe– Chapter 5

    Story written on July 19, 2005 by Sox1.
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    52 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 552 votes, average: 3.62 out of 5 (52 votes, average: 3.62 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 40
    Words: 2636
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=55496
    Author Notes:

    Yea..formatting fixed: Bette gets a first look at forensics

    Absolutely, James agreed. In fact, I marked more splatter at this scene than the first three murders combined,” he said emphasizing the last word for impact. We had over 50 splatter paths.

    Bette whistled softly knowing that was more than almost any murder she had ever worked on. Bette had tons of questions but instead said Walk me through it, James.

    With that James told the story that his string had told him.

    Based on information from a neighbor, Marcey Fleming arrived home mid-morning. There was nothing to indicate she experienced trouble before entering the apartment. Since Tina Kennards keys were still hanging from the deadbolt, it was assumed that Marcey shut and locked the door once safely inside.

    Trouble began in the first bedroom just off the living room. James surmised the killer was laying in wait for his victim and that is where the battle began. There were no splatters in this room reflecting his full height, so it appears he attacked her, attempted to subdue her and struck the first blow with the knife from either a kneeling or straddling position. He struck additional blows with such speed and force that blood left the blade and splattered on the walls and ceiling.

    At some point, Marcey must have summoned every ounce of strength she had and escaped his grasp. Already gravely wounded, she staggered helplessly to the living room leaving a streak of blood and a handprint on the hallway as she passed.

    There was no need for him to rush, for Marcey was already dead her heart just didnt know it yet. His powerful assault in the bedroom had severed major arteries and Marcey was bleeding out quickly. If he had left then, she would have died soon enough but he battered her body with a dozen more blows before wiping the blade clean on her torn and tattered shirt.

    James finished the tale the string had told and they both remained silent, each picturing the horror of Marcey Flemings last moments. Bette rested her head in her hands, hoping the young woman in the next room never had to hear these haunting details.

    James was the first to break the silence. Bette? he began slowly. You have always told me not to just process the evidence but really address the emotion and psychology behind the evidence. James waited, but getting no response from Bette he continued.

    He was different this time. The other murders have certainly been brutal, but this time he was angry. There was an element of uncontrolled brutality that I didnt pick up in the first three murders. The evidence tells me its the same guy, no doubt about it, but something really set him off. Its as if he was furious that she had the nerve to fight back.

    Bette nodded silently in agreement letting her eyes search the two photos of the crime scene. They both knew they had finished for now, having reviewed as much information as their minds and hearts would allow.

    But there was more that Bette needed to know and James couldnt avoid telling her any longer. He wasnt sure why, but he knew it would be the most disturbing information she had received this night. For the first time, the killer had left a calling card.

    Theres something else, he said quietly. She could tell from his tone that James was concerned, and when he expressed concern Bette was downright worried. There was something in her mouth. He stuffed a rumpled photo in the poor girls mouth.

    Bettes throat tightened as she waited for him to tell her what she already knew. It was of the roommate, Bette. It was a picture of Tina Kennard.

    TBC

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    Comments

    1. Great story, Sox. Re: formatting. The page generator is expecting html formatting to be embedded in your text. Manually adding a

      or two at the beginning of each paragraph may be enough to make it readable for now.

    2. Sorry Sox, forgot that I couldn’t use the actual html code within a comments box – it gets blanked out. So I’ll describe the key-symbols in longhand.

      Basically you’ll be manually adding a

      ‘sharp parentheses left’ p ‘sharp parentheses right’

      at the beginning of each paragraph.

    4. DAMN WONDERFUL STORY AND CHAPTER….WHO CARES ABOUT THE FORMATTING, ALL I KNOW IS YOU MUST CONTINUE..PLEASE..I AM SITTING AT THE EDGE OF MY SEAT WAITING FOR YOUR NEXT AWESOME CHAPTER…PLEASE POST REAL SOON….THANKS

    5. I don’t know why but your story makes me think about a great book (I don’t remember the title) and a movie with Denzel Washington, who was quadriplegic and Angelina Jolie. I think it’s the feeling of your story when I read it. It’s gripping. Thank you

    6. I have to admit that I don’t watch any of the ‘crime’ shows on TV. They are too dark and depressing for me…all that violence and hatred in the world. But, I am totally and completely hooked on this story…and it is because of your writing. Thank you.

    8. OMG! What are you a Crime Scene Investigator? Your details are great, I really feel like I’m in this situation with them. I can’t wait to find out what happens next. PLEASE post again soon!

    13. dont care about the formatting either. just keep writing. this is so good. bette the protector. of course. dont wait long between posts and send it as is. thanks

    18. wait… why did u stop writin, ur killin me here (pardon the really bad pun!)
      Oh and in resposne to ur question abt u stoppin, do not do that. There cud be no spaces between the words and id still read it, lol! see how addicted u have made me. Really, thank you for writing Sox
      DX

    19. I read and don’t normally comment……..but you write so well, so clearly and have such a sense of timing when you write…..it makes me want more. Don’t worry at all about the formatting, just write.

    22. Sox,
      Brilliant blending of The L Word and murder mystery.
      Am wondering if it will be a whodunnit rather than an interesting plot device to put a new slant on a familiar relationship.
      Anyhoo, that said, am just loving it.
      You have a real flair for this type of story. The scenes have been slowly and seductively set-up, crisp fresh dialogue that fairly bumps along mixed in with some genuine intrigue.
      Please continue this fabulous fan fic and bollocks to the formatting.
      I have need to read.
      Thanks for sharing your talent.
      A Loyal Fan.

    25. god this is a really great story!!! lovin’ every chapter of it. reminds me too much of katherine v. forrest…words that leap off a page and capture the readers attention. thanxs for taking the time to share this with us.
      a MOST gracious ten thumbs up to you and your story telling. continued success and cannot wait to read the concluding chapters.

    29. Wonderful detail and scene layout. Are you in law enforcement or a CSI? If not, your research is awesome. Who is this guy or….could it be a female killer? How rare are female serial killers? Maybe a female Jeckel & Hyde? Can’t wait until your next installment.

    30. sox – another great chapter – this mystery plus these characters makes for an intriquing heart-wrenchig new addition to my addiction for Bette and Tina. What can I say but thanks for writing so so beautifully. Are you a cop – you certainly seem to know your stuff??

    33. Don’t you dare stop writing while you fix the formatting!!!!! When the story is this captivating if flows regardless of formatting…and NO it’s not hard to read!!! Love it…waiting for MORE tks

    36. yea, formatting schmormatting, I am so hooked, I just love your writing style and the terrific suspense you build in your storytelling. Simply Awesome.

    38. ok I think it’s jenny lmao sorry I just had to say that. don’t ask me why. oh and a brittney??, all I have to say is I hate that breed. now that’s out of my mouth let me start going on with the story,damm it’s getting good, thank you for the awesome csi info, makes your story so much better, and a special shoe. And the picture, so bette better wake tina’s ass up and get some anwsers right now. And the killer was at the crime scene, he must of followed bette to her house. who cares about the formatting, just as long as you are still posting. that’s all that matters

    39. Loving it. The way you write dialogue is simply wonderful. Its so real and relaxed and never pushed. Dude I sound like a groupie, but then… I think I am one. LOL

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