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    Can we get it back – Chapter 23

    Chapter 23

    “Please talk to me Tee. And do not make excuses because of my situation. I am in good shape right now. I can talk and listen. Okay?” Bette softly says and give her a loving squeeze of her hands.

    “Okay.” Tina replies. “I guess it all just dawned on me… in a way when you showed me the book and the title and then your explanation for buying it, reading it.” Tina starts and looks into Bette’s eyes; the tears starts again. “It breaks my heart Bette… I know I have said it before, but it is how I feel about it. And I am beginning to see that I failed. I failed big time in being your wife. I was stuck in the past. I just assumed that you were the same…” She continues before she must pause for a moment. “But the truth is, looking back, you changed, before we moved to New York. You made the necessary changes that I asked for earlier in our relationship.” Tina says her voice trembling. “You were so attentive towards me and how I was feeling. And for God’s sake you moved to New York for me. You started to talk more, share your feelings. I know how hard that was for you before. I often had to drag it out of you.” Tina says and looks into Bette’s eyes, tears still falling down her face.

    Bette looks at Tina and can feel her pain. They always wore their pain on their sleeves. Both knowing what the other felt with just one look. What they had in that department was never in question, but how they managed that was a different story. Where Tina could read Bette almost to perfection, Bette was a little more clueless at times.

    “I did work hard on myself back then. And I have been ever since, also after you left. I just couldn’t understand what went wrong. My heart was breaking, and I couldn’t understand why.” Bette says as tears also starts running down her face. They still hold each other’s hands, softly squeezing to show support to the other.

    “I know you worked hard, I felt it every day. I saw the changes. We were in such a good place, a good steam when we left for New York.” Tina says lovingly

    Page 1 of 3123


    1. This story is the one that most fits my view of the relationship problems between Bette and Tina. These characters fit the personalities of who I see Bette and Tina to be. Both have their strengths and weaknesses. Both share the responsibility for breaking up their relationship and both are and will be required to acknowledge what went wrong and do what they can to correct the problems. They must come to a mutual forgiveness for themselves and for each other. But what is required to reconcile in the future is to repeat the same process – admit the problems and their roll in the screwups, do what they can to correct the errors, apologize, and forgive and move on. The basic requirement is to communicate and commit and to give a good faith effort to the relationship and each other. I think the core belief that the benefits of the relationship far out weighs the pain and anguish they go though when they hurt each other or they are apart.

      They went through this same process and the same explanations after Jodi and before New York. They were in a good place and they were in the process of strengthening their relationship. So something happened after they got to New York. Something changed that caused Tina to decide her best course of action was divorce. I look forward to your story and how they resolve those problems and missteps. I have faith that they are on the path of doing just that.

      You are an excellent writer. The conversations are clear and straightforward without judgement of the other. Tina proclaiming that she failed as a spouse to me is her evaluation of what she believed what went wrong. Yet, they reflect the emotion they are experiencing. The guilt for their missteps and the love and devotion they have for each other. She will just needs to explain to Bette (and to us) what she did that caused that failure. It will then be up to Bette to acknowledge if she made any contribution to that failure. The problem is that Tina is still in the process of determining what motivated her to do what she did. Until Tina knows what brought her to her decisions, then it will be hard to get to the other side.

      Thank you so much for this story. Thank you for bringing this Tina and this Bette into our lives.

      • Excellent post. You have quite an understanding of the B and T relationship. Better than I do for sure. I really wish Candace could be put behind them once and for all. It’s just too convenient to use that as the excuse for so many problems. Tina needs to figure it out and own her own contributions while Bette needs to focus on her health and truly forgive herself. If Tina really is still caught up on not ever being able to forgive Bette then she needs to end it once and for all. Not what I want but my only concern is that Bette gets better and does not die. The last thing Bette needs is for Tina to be there because Bette is sick. There is a reason Tina took the extreme measure of divorcing Bette and was prepared to marry another woman. Until THAT is addressed I will question why Tina is even there. Again, you offer excellent analysis.

    2. Great chapter,

      They are really talking now and honest about their feelings. That was their biggest problem, not talking honest with each other.

      And it is good that they take small steps to open up, it will not be resolved in one day but they are on the right pad now.

      But i think it is more Tina that seems to struggle to be honest, she is the one that choose to leave when life got to hard. Bette changed and continu to work on herself. To me it sounds that Tina never really saw or was willing to believe that Bette changed in a positive way. How is it that she now realize Bette did change and she stood still?

      They have many more things to talk about, but i see hope for the future.

      Thank you for the update!

    3. My comment went straight to the trash again. I still don’t know how to get it back here where it belongs. It is really annoying that it happens so many Times. In short, wonderful chapter. They are talking honest with each other and let them continue to do that. But what is it that makes Tina run away everytime? Infidelity was so long ago and shouldn’t be a reason anymore. Or Tina never really forgave Bette and how much Bette change in a positive way over the years and still works on her self, it wouldn’t matter if Tina doesn’t trust Bette deep down in her heart. So Tina work on your own issues and forgive Bette wholeheartly or cut your losses and move on. Don’t give Bette hope to only crush her heart again. Bette needs all her strenght to win this fight against cancer. But again they are talking through their past relationship and that is positive. Thank you for the update!

    4. A short but great Chapter.

      Tina needs to be honest with herself, Bette has not been the cause of all their problems.

      I hope you are going to bring this to a Tibette positive conclusion so I think this agony worth it!

    5. “Bette, you were the best partner” – Sorry, but i disagree that in s1 TLW Bette was best partner. She was mediocre partner even before they lost baby, self-absorbed too much. Remember how she treated Tina when they met her father. How she dictated what Tina needs to wear, how she told her she needed to seat to back seat to the car, how she not defended Tina when Melvin treated Tina like a trash during dinner and how she preferred to stayed with him and allow Tina left alone. Her pregnant partner left alone, but Bette didn’t not care.

      Personally after that dinner if i be in Tina place i would left Bette.

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