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    Can we get it back – Chapter 23

    “I was so happy when we got pregnant Tee. I was so proud. But somewhere in there saw my father. I got scared. Terrified really. I did not want to be like my dad. I was second-guessing my ability to be a parent. Kit told me I had the daddy blues. The daddy don’t feel the same amount of connection to the baby compared to the mother who carries it. So, to keep those thoughts at a distant, I threw myself into my work. Because as you just said. I could control what happened there. But I got more and more depressed in a way also. And when we started the group therapy thing. I even questioned if I was falling out of love.” Bette reveals everything. She thought it was now or never. Tears are also streaming down her face now. She takes a few seconds. Tina is wiping her tears. “But just to clarify that right away, I never, and I mean never fell out of love with you. Just got a little lost myself there for a short period.” Bette adds and takes Tina’s hand and squeeze it softly. That makes Tina smile a little through her tears.

    “And then we lost the baby.” Tina sadly states. “The baby was in a way the last hope we had to cling on to. I shut you out. I shut you out big time Bette. Looking back, I can see everything you tried to do to make it easier and bearable for me, but I got stuck in my pain. A pain that I thought was only mine at the time. I didn’t consider that you also lost a baby.” Tina says sadly, looking into Bette’s eyes.

    “I tried to connect to you for so long after we lost him. But you wouldn’t let me touch you, wouldn’t let me hold you, kiss you like we used to. I didn’t feel wanted anymore and that was heartbreaking. And then, someone wanted me, and I just lost it. I knew it was wrong. Every fiber in my body screamed no. I just lost my resolve. And for that I am so sorry. I wish I could’ve been stronger for you, for us.” Bette says honestly.

    “Bette, you were the best partner. Me shutting you out is what caused the last drop to fall in a way. I wanted to reach out to you, but I felt that you couldn’t possibly know my pain. So, when you tried to be supportive and everything, I got more angry. I never meant to shut you out Bette. I’ve always been in love with you, please know that.” Tina says as a new wave of tears comes pouring out.

    They look at each other lovingly. Feeling that some tension is slipping away. Old unsolved feelings disappearing and a new wave of energy and love coming forward.

    Bette takes an extra hold of Tina’s hand and pulls her to her.

    “Come here. Let me hold you.” She whispers. Tina does as asked and moves closer to Bette and turns around to let Bette hold her. There another set of tears comes through. “Why don’t we stop for now. We’ve got a lot of stuff out in the open today. I think we need a break from the heavy talk for a little while.” Bette suggests.

    “Yeah, you’re right… This was a really good talk though. We’ve never been this honest and open before.” Tina says.

    “No, we haven’t, maybe that’s where most of the problems lay.” Bette replies.

    “Yeah, that might be.” Tina says sadly, realizing that it could be that simple thing that kept them apart all this time.

    Page 3 of 3123

    Comments

    1. This story is the one that most fits my view of the relationship problems between Bette and Tina. These characters fit the personalities of who I see Bette and Tina to be. Both have their strengths and weaknesses. Both share the responsibility for breaking up their relationship and both are and will be required to acknowledge what went wrong and do what they can to correct the problems. They must come to a mutual forgiveness for themselves and for each other. But what is required to reconcile in the future is to repeat the same process – admit the problems and their roll in the screwups, do what they can to correct the errors, apologize, and forgive and move on. The basic requirement is to communicate and commit and to give a good faith effort to the relationship and each other. I think the core belief that the benefits of the relationship far out weighs the pain and anguish they go though when they hurt each other or they are apart.

      They went through this same process and the same explanations after Jodi and before New York. They were in a good place and they were in the process of strengthening their relationship. So something happened after they got to New York. Something changed that caused Tina to decide her best course of action was divorce. I look forward to your story and how they resolve those problems and missteps. I have faith that they are on the path of doing just that.

      You are an excellent writer. The conversations are clear and straightforward without judgement of the other. Tina proclaiming that she failed as a spouse to me is her evaluation of what she believed what went wrong. Yet, they reflect the emotion they are experiencing. The guilt for their missteps and the love and devotion they have for each other. She will just needs to explain to Bette (and to us) what she did that caused that failure. It will then be up to Bette to acknowledge if she made any contribution to that failure. The problem is that Tina is still in the process of determining what motivated her to do what she did. Until Tina knows what brought her to her decisions, then it will be hard to get to the other side.

      Thank you so much for this story. Thank you for bringing this Tina and this Bette into our lives.

      • Excellent post. You have quite an understanding of the B and T relationship. Better than I do for sure. I really wish Candace could be put behind them once and for all. It’s just too convenient to use that as the excuse for so many problems. Tina needs to figure it out and own her own contributions while Bette needs to focus on her health and truly forgive herself. If Tina really is still caught up on not ever being able to forgive Bette then she needs to end it once and for all. Not what I want but my only concern is that Bette gets better and does not die. The last thing Bette needs is for Tina to be there because Bette is sick. There is a reason Tina took the extreme measure of divorcing Bette and was prepared to marry another woman. Until THAT is addressed I will question why Tina is even there. Again, you offer excellent analysis.

    2. Great chapter,

      They are really talking now and honest about their feelings. That was their biggest problem, not talking honest with each other.

      And it is good that they take small steps to open up, it will not be resolved in one day but they are on the right pad now.

      But i think it is more Tina that seems to struggle to be honest, she is the one that choose to leave when life got to hard. Bette changed and continu to work on herself. To me it sounds that Tina never really saw or was willing to believe that Bette changed in a positive way. How is it that she now realize Bette did change and she stood still?

      They have many more things to talk about, but i see hope for the future.

      Thank you for the update!

    3. My comment went straight to the trash again. I still don’t know how to get it back here where it belongs. It is really annoying that it happens so many Times. In short, wonderful chapter. They are talking honest with each other and let them continue to do that. But what is it that makes Tina run away everytime? Infidelity was so long ago and shouldn’t be a reason anymore. Or Tina never really forgave Bette and how much Bette change in a positive way over the years and still works on her self, it wouldn’t matter if Tina doesn’t trust Bette deep down in her heart. So Tina work on your own issues and forgive Bette wholeheartly or cut your losses and move on. Don’t give Bette hope to only crush her heart again. Bette needs all her strenght to win this fight against cancer. But again they are talking through their past relationship and that is positive. Thank you for the update!

    4. A short but great Chapter.

      Tina needs to be honest with herself, Bette has not been the cause of all their problems.

      I hope you are going to bring this to a Tibette positive conclusion so I think this agony worth it!
      SG

    5. “Bette, you were the best partner” – Sorry, but i disagree that in s1 TLW Bette was best partner. She was mediocre partner even before they lost baby, self-absorbed too much. Remember how she treated Tina when they met her father. How she dictated what Tina needs to wear, how she told her she needed to seat to back seat to the car, how she not defended Tina when Melvin treated Tina like a trash during dinner and how she preferred to stayed with him and allow Tina left alone. Her pregnant partner left alone, but Bette didn’t not care.

      Personally after that dinner if i be in Tina place i would left Bette.

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