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Can we get it back – Chapter 23
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“But that wasn’t enough for you in the end.” Bette states as a matter of fact.
“It should’ve been. And for a long time, it was. I was the luckiest woman in the whole world, because I had you, was loved by you. And we had our baby.” Tina says and looks down on their joint hands. She is trying to form the next words, the right words.
“What changed Tina?” Bette carefully asks. Tina slowly looks up into Bette’s eyes for a brief second.
“Oh, I wish I knew. That would make this whole situation like a walk in the park.” Tina softly replies with a teary chuckle.
Bette stays silent for a few moments, waiting for Tina to continue. Hoping that she would get closer to a resolution. But Tina is struggling to form anything.
“Does it come back to the infidelity?” Bette silently asks, holding her breath for a few seconds.
Tina quickly looks up from her hands and into Bette eyes at the question. She opens her mouth to speak but stops. Bette is watching her every move. Scared of the answer. She knows that the infidelity broke Tina to the core. Even if they had problems before that, but still. She had done the unforgivable.
Tina can see the nervousness in Bette and takes a few seconds to gather her words.
“It is a part of it all, I think. But we were in a bad place back then. We had lost sight of what we had. And what we had was really good Bette. When we got pregnant the first time, I was so happy, finally our dream was coming true. But I felt you pulling away Bette. So, I started to do things on my own. Like the birthing tub. You remember?” Tina asks looking at Bette.
“Yeah, I remember. A lot of things got decided without my input back then.” Bette sadly replies.
“I know. You were more at work than you were at home. So, the love and safety I always felt around you, was slowly slipping away from me. I lost control of our relationship in a way. I didn’t know what to do, so I just took care of everything myself at least that way I could have some kind of control back.” Tina says as a single tear roll down her face.
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This story is the one that most fits my view of the relationship problems between Bette and Tina. These characters fit the personalities of who I see Bette and Tina to be. Both have their strengths and weaknesses. Both share the responsibility for breaking up their relationship and both are and will be required to acknowledge what went wrong and do what they can to correct the problems. They must come to a mutual forgiveness for themselves and for each other. But what is required to reconcile in the future is to repeat the same process – admit the problems and their roll in the screwups, do what they can to correct the errors, apologize, and forgive and move on. The basic requirement is to communicate and commit and to give a good faith effort to the relationship and each other. I think the core belief that the benefits of the relationship far out weighs the pain and anguish they go though when they hurt each other or they are apart.
They went through this same process and the same explanations after Jodi and before New York. They were in a good place and they were in the process of strengthening their relationship. So something happened after they got to New York. Something changed that caused Tina to decide her best course of action was divorce. I look forward to your story and how they resolve those problems and missteps. I have faith that they are on the path of doing just that.
You are an excellent writer. The conversations are clear and straightforward without judgement of the other. Tina proclaiming that she failed as a spouse to me is her evaluation of what she believed what went wrong. Yet, they reflect the emotion they are experiencing. The guilt for their missteps and the love and devotion they have for each other. She will just needs to explain to Bette (and to us) what she did that caused that failure. It will then be up to Bette to acknowledge if she made any contribution to that failure. The problem is that Tina is still in the process of determining what motivated her to do what she did. Until Tina knows what brought her to her decisions, then it will be hard to get to the other side.
Thank you so much for this story. Thank you for bringing this Tina and this Bette into our lives.
Excellent post. You have quite an understanding of the B and T relationship. Better than I do for sure. I really wish Candace could be put behind them once and for all. It’s just too convenient to use that as the excuse for so many problems. Tina needs to figure it out and own her own contributions while Bette needs to focus on her health and truly forgive herself. If Tina really is still caught up on not ever being able to forgive Bette then she needs to end it once and for all. Not what I want but my only concern is that Bette gets better and does not die. The last thing Bette needs is for Tina to be there because Bette is sick. There is a reason Tina took the extreme measure of divorcing Bette and was prepared to marry another woman. Until THAT is addressed I will question why Tina is even there. Again, you offer excellent analysis.
Great chapter,
They are really talking now and honest about their feelings. That was their biggest problem, not talking honest with each other.
And it is good that they take small steps to open up, it will not be resolved in one day but they are on the right pad now.
But i think it is more Tina that seems to struggle to be honest, she is the one that choose to leave when life got to hard. Bette changed and continu to work on herself. To me it sounds that Tina never really saw or was willing to believe that Bette changed in a positive way. How is it that she now realize Bette did change and she stood still?
They have many more things to talk about, but i see hope for the future.
Thank you for the update!
My comment went straight to the trash again. I still don’t know how to get it back here where it belongs. It is really annoying that it happens so many Times. In short, wonderful chapter. They are talking honest with each other and let them continue to do that. But what is it that makes Tina run away everytime? Infidelity was so long ago and shouldn’t be a reason anymore. Or Tina never really forgave Bette and how much Bette change in a positive way over the years and still works on her self, it wouldn’t matter if Tina doesn’t trust Bette deep down in her heart. So Tina work on your own issues and forgive Bette wholeheartly or cut your losses and move on. Don’t give Bette hope to only crush her heart again. Bette needs all her strenght to win this fight against cancer. But again they are talking through their past relationship and that is positive. Thank you for the update!
Agree.
A short but great Chapter.
Tina needs to be honest with herself, Bette has not been the cause of all their problems.
I hope you are going to bring this to a Tibette positive conclusion so I think this agony worth it!
SG
“Bette, you were the best partner” – Sorry, but i disagree that in s1 TLW Bette was best partner. She was mediocre partner even before they lost baby, self-absorbed too much. Remember how she treated Tina when they met her father. How she dictated what Tina needs to wear, how she told her she needed to seat to back seat to the car, how she not defended Tina when Melvin treated Tina like a trash during dinner and how she preferred to stayed with him and allow Tina left alone. Her pregnant partner left alone, but Bette didn’t not care.
Personally after that dinner if i be in Tina place i would left Bette.