Bette:  I did the whole Rush week and I received four invitations to join a sorority.  My father was thrilled and beside himself about it.  I declined every one of them, and then he was furious.  It just wasn’t what I wanted my social life to be. They were all so silky sweet to your face, but would knife you in the back if the opportunity presented itself.  I think I was a better student because I was not in a sorority. Grades and education were not a high priority in most of the sororities.  They encouraged their members to do just enough to get by.  They were far more interested in who you were dating than what you were studying.

Angie:  Why would they not encourage people to study hard and make good grades?

Tina:  The purpose of the sorority and fraternity system is to provide a network of friends and contacts for a successful life after you leave college. Sororities and fraternities build friendships and bonds to the organization which is sort of like name-brand loyalty.  It’s all about belonging to a group of people who are similar in background and goals. They are a network based on knowing “the right” people. So, when job searching and need help with a reference or a contact, you get in touch with a sorority sister and they are obligated to assist you or refer you to someone who can help.  You will be perceived as more successful if you marry someone in your sororities’ associated fraternity.  Of course, back when I was going to school, lesbians were not accepted in sororities. They are all about being associated with the “right people”.  And it works for a lot of people. It just was not for me or your mom.

Bette:  Honey, we are not telling you what to do with respect to sororities. You need to determine that for yourself. We are just telling you, our experiences. It wasn’t something we wanted. But if you decide that is the route you want to take; we will honor your decision and support you financially to be a member. You just need to be aware of what it is you are getting into. Your college life will be completely different as a member of a sorority than as a non-Greek. Sororities have a lot of social activities and a lot of required participation events. They have a big influence on who you associate with and who your friends are.  They will have a big say in what your wardrobe is. They will expect you conform to their group standards of behavior. And if you are okay with that, then go for it. But if you don’t want to be a Greek, well, we will honor and support that as well. This is your life and you need to make your own path.