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    Chapter 17 – Only together, only forward

    Tina had been consulting with psychotherapist Salma Ferrari for several years. Bette didn’t know the woman personally, but she had heard positive feedback from her wife, so she decided to visit her. Bette deliberately didn’t want to go to a doctor she’d worked with for quite a few years. She wanted the new therapist to look at the whole situation with fresh eyes, without looking back at past meetings and conversations.

     

    Salma pays close attention to small details, behavior, gestures, facial expressions, and everything that helps her understand the person who addressed her. She seems to read more between the lines than she takes in a specific story. She believes that a person who seeks help from a psychotherapist can very rarely clearly convey what they care about. A first-person story is only a small part of the foundation that you need to work with to achieve a positive result. Tina described her as a doctor who conducts a dialogue, not just listens or talks. According to her, this is very conducive to intimacy, the feeling as if you know each other very well and can trust each other. Some may find this unprofessional, but Salma helped a huge number of people when she did what she thought was effective.

     

    It had been a week since Tina and Bette had talked about seeing a therapist, and today was Bette’s second session. The first session went on for a long time and was fruitless, because Salma was silent for the entire 60 minutes while Bette told the whole story. After this session, the brunette realized that she could talk about it, but did not know whether to continue, because the doctor’s behavior confused her, because of Tina’s words, She expected something completely different. She expected at least some questions from Salma, but she’s only asked her to tell her everything, and she fell silent and just listened. Bette decided to go for a couple more sessions and then decide whether to do it again.

     

    Today, they have begun to engage in dialogue. Tea was brought to them, and Bette sat down in the chair opposite Salma and gave her a small smile as she sipped from her mug.

     

    ”How was your weekend? You look refreshed”

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    Comments

    1. This story is very sad, yet inspiring. From the depths of despair can come hope if one will just look for it. Bette and Tina have both repressed their feeling of loss and hurt for a long time. And although this loss is something they will never get over they must learn to live with it and to put their lives into a loving and caring relationship with each other and with Angie. Its time to acknowledge the loss, feel the pain, heal each other and learn how to go forward as a result. Loss of a child is devastating. Dealing with it even more difficult. It can tear families apart… these two need each other… I believe they have made a good and positive start. They just need to get to the point where they turn to each other every time, when in need of comfort and solace and to be present when those times arise.

      Thanks for the update….

    2. Hi Ada,

      This was so good, i almost don’t have words to describe how this chapter touched my heart.

      I don’t have children and can’t imagine what a devasted loss it is when your child suddenly dies, but you did a excellent job to describe what Bette and Tina went through when they lost Oli.

      I have full confidence in that this therapist will help Bette and Tina to come to terms with the loss of Oli and give it a place.

      For the rest, I can only say that I fully agree with what Martha has written in her comment.

      This is definitely one of the best chapters you have written!

      I know I don’t always write a comment but I’ll follow your story from the beginning and through to your last chapter!

      Thank you, be careful and stay healthy!

      • Thank you so much for such wonderful words, Bibi!
        Although your comments are not frequent, they are always very interesting to read. The feedback is really important to me, and the fact that you gave it this time is so nice. I hope that you will enjoy the continuation of this story no less. Thanks and be careful too!

    3. Ok, it was not easy chapter also.

      I like the story about how Tina’s cold reaction on Kit’s death might be subconsciously reaction and even revenge for Bette’s reaction for Oli’s death. I think it’s very trustworthy. – as the story in s3 when i think all Henry story was Tina’s subconsciously revenge to Bette for carpenter.

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