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Chapter 18 – The destruction and merging
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Several times it happened that she was silent and could not say a word for 20 minutes. This was a discovery for her, because she had not noticed this feature in herself before, when you physically can’t say a word to the person sitting opposite. At such times, Salma took matters into her own hands and tried to minimize Tina’s discomfort so that she didn’t feel weird or abnormal, because in fact, it was a completely natural reaction of the brain to momentary stress. When a person deliberately raises such a hard topic for themselves, their brain begins to emit an impulse that signals the whole body to stop, not to continue talking about it, so as not to harm organism psychologically. And the person can’t do anything about it for a while-they fall silent and it can last from a couple of minutes to several hours in different cases – depending on the complexity of the topic and the person’s mental state. Along with that Tina’s reaction, there was another one-a continuous story. Sometimes she could talk about Oli for a long time without stopping. Salma didn’t interrupt her, but a couple of times she tried to ask some intermediate questions, which Tina didn’t even pay attention to and just kept talking. This was also a neurological feature and a certain reaction of the brain – to throw everything out, try to solve the problem as quickly as possible, do not stop.
Bette and Tina knew that an important part of their recovery would be to sort out Oli’s toys and stop hiding her photo album. They weren’t ready for it yet, but felt that they would do it in the near future. Angie might want to be with them at this point, too. They were moving at a pace that was acceptable and far from fast. Salma believed that sorting Oli’s toys and things that were left of her would be a very important and powerful step that would take these women to the next level and be the dividing line of their pain into ”before” and ”after”, a new stage in their acceptance.
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It was almost 8 p.m. Bette arrived from work and heard an unfamiliar voice coming from the kitchen. She put her bag and car keys on the table next to the front door, took off her shoes and trench coat, and headed for the kitchen. The brunette saw Tina and Margot sitting at the kitchen island having dinner. Neither of them noticed her because they were deep in conversation. Margo was saying something funny,and Tina was listening intently and laughing a little. Bette stood looking at them for a few seconds, then cleared her throat so they would pay attention to her. They both looked at her at the same time.
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So Bette is jealous of Margot because she is still afraid that Tina might leave her again. Actually that is a reasonable fear and I think that Bette should talk to Tina about it. Bette should definitely explore this fear with her therapist as well. Tina needs to understand that her leaving the relationship has left Bette with that fear – its happened three times already and who’s to say that a Margot or someone like her might bring on another exit.
Tina is a smart woman – she knew there was a problem and she should have seen jealousy as symptom. She knows Bette well enough to know that Bette was not comfortable with Margot conversation. Bette was smiling in that being polite but not genuinely glad to see Margot. And Margot had the same expression. So why bring it up when Bette has provided a romantic setting for the evening ending celebration? Why not wait until breakfast the next morning? Let the evening flow as it will?
Now, the arrival of Natalie? If Natalie is really running away from home on her own, she would have her cell phone. She would have some money or some kind of plan for her journey. She would not just show up on someone’s doorstep. But she shows up abruptly and unannounced. And I think she would have had a better story than what she had if she were running away. Of course there maybe more going on at home than she is saying.
Interesting chapter…. it seems that there is just no end of problems – let’s hope that Tina and Bette can hold it in the road while they get through all these challenges.
Post more when you can…. I want to see how they get to a somewhat normal life.
I will try to publish the next chapter as quickly as possible. Thank you for your thoughts and attention to this story!
Thank you for the chapter!
Oh, first – i love jealous Bette :). And i think she has her reason to do it – to be suspicion about this Margo.
Second – i think it’s right thing what Bette did – texting Natalie father and let him know where his daughter.
And third – i think Tina also right what she said about Natalie and her father’s fight. They need to listen his story (if he wants to tell it) and then judge him.
Yeah, Bette’s jealous side has its charm :)
Thank you, Zhenya!
Bette is jealous of Margot and upset that Tina appears to respond. At least they talked. Tina has to set boundaries with Margot and I feel this will help Bette.
Poor Natalie. At least Bette contacted her father.
I think you’re right about boundaries. Good to see you here!