Bette and Tina had gotten up and dressed in clean underwear and clothing. They put on a little makeup and then ventured to the kitchen. They saw Daniel’s dirty clothes in the laundry hamper so they decided to call him. Bette chatted with him for a minute or two and then asked him if he were ready for their promised meeting.  Daniel was caught a little off guard but replied that he was. He would be down in fifteen minutes. He wanted to get a swim in this afternoon before dinner.

Bette:  He’ll be down in fifteen minutes. Why don’t we do this in the study in the sitting area. I want for us to sit as equals. And I want it to be in a neutral place.

Tina:  The study is a bit formal isn’t it, for a discussion with our son?

Bette: This is a serious discussion. I want him to know that you and I are taking these questions seriously. It is also private and only between the three of us. And although this is our space, we do not occupy this space very often and the reason we have it is for privacy.

Tina: Well, I’ll get some water for us.

Bette: Tina, I’m going to try something a little different with Daniel today. You might see it as little rough. But I promise you that before we leave that room, we will all have an understanding of what is acceptable behavior.

Tina: What are you going to do?

Bette: I’m going to yell at him. Not much unless I see he is not getting the message. But I hope to get him to experience what we feel when he yells at us. And even though he is still a child, he is growing into a man. And part of being a man or a woman is to present himself in an appropriate manner.

Tina: Okay… I’ll stand with you.  But if you go over the top, well then, I will step in and stop you.

Bette: I don’t think I will. You see, I’m not angry in this situation. If I were angry, I doubt I could pull this off. I would certainly go over the top. But more than likely, I would refuse to have this meeting until I got myself under control. I never want to respond to my children when I am in a state of anger. Nor do I want to ever respond to you in a state of anger either. Anger does not provide solutions. It only leads to revenge and hurtful acts. I never want to be that person.