Mary: Like moving in with her?

Tina:  Yeah, like moving in with her. We were spending every night together either at her house on at my apartment. Then we were spending almost every night at her place and I was just going home to get more clothes. So, we finally just agreed to move the rest of my stuff to her place and terminate my lease. It was just something that happened. It wasn’t like there was a big discussion. It was more like “Why don’t I just move the rest my stuff in and terminate my lease.” And Bette said “Okay… when do you want me at your place?”

Bette: It was what I wanted. But I was not going to pressure you into something you did not want. I knew that when you were ready, you would let me know. I just needed to be patient. To do otherwise would have never resulted in us being together. It would have driven a wedge between us as big as the Hoover Dam.

Tina: But you weren’t above tempting me in rather subtle and some not-so-subtle ways.

Bette: Oh, whatever do you mean? I didn’t do anything that you didn’t do.

Tina: Yeah, I know. But I wasn’t looking at me. I was looking at you. Walking around in just a towel? Or just your underwear?

Bette:  You did that too. And you were the one who always started those make out sessions.

Tina: I know. You were just so adorable and I just couldn’t help myself.

Mary: I think we have heard enough.  Any more and we are all going to need cold showers.

Tina: Bottom line was that I was having a difficult time reconciling the way I was raised to believe and how I was responding to Bette. She was a perfect potential mate in every way, except that she was a woman. And in my world, that was not acceptable.

Suzanne:  And what brought you to the understanding that being with a woman was okay?

Tina: When I realized that most beliefs and standards are all man made. And when you look at those rules and the purpose is to keep people from harming others, well that is reasonable. But when the rules have a purpose of simply imposing a way of thinking on others with no particular harm from occurring as a result of going against, well those are simply a rule with no purpose or meaning or they are based on fear for which there is no basis. Not choosing a partner who is the same gender is based on a fear for which there is no basis for the fear. But there are many who share that fear and will shun you, disparage you, discriminate against you because you choose to follow the path that is right for you. And the fear can be deeply ingrained into people through religion, cultures, and society norms. So, the question for me became: Do I follow my heart and attempt to make a life with this woman or do I play it safe and walk away and possibly never find anyone comparable. Do I go for happiness and fulfillment or do I settle for a safe and a mediocre alternative? I decided that no matter what the price, I was going for the gold. And I have never regretted doing that. I did get a little side tracked for a while, but I finally came to my senses and reestablished our relationship and what I wanted.