Tina:  I was brought up to believe that women’s sole purpose in life was to be the nurturer and to have babies. The sole purpose of a man was to be the provider of food, shelter, and sperm for his wife and children. My parents’ generation was the first where women began to venture into the professional career rather than stay at home with the kids. Even today, employer’s pay their female employees less because they reason that sooner or later, she is going to have to take a whole bunch of time off to have children, so she is not as reliable and doesn’t deserve as much pay. Or it’s the man who supports the family, the woman just works for the extras in life. Of course, our basic economy says otherwise. It says that both spouses have to provide for the family or there won’t be enough to put food on the table or pay the rent. Well anyway, Bette and I got into what I believed was a tight financial situation and it was just about the time you were born. And because I had been brought up to believe that girls should find a good man to provide for her, that I thought that I had possibly made a huge mistake by picking a woman to partner with. In other words, the reason we were in the financial position we were in was the fact we were both women. So, I decided that perhaps I should try to correct that mistake. But what I didn’t realize was that my heart was having none of that foolishness. There is so much more to our relationship than financial security. There was a dependence and a deep abiding trust and love which had been damaged but still existed between the two of us. And there was you whom we both loved more than ourselves. So, we worked things out and it’s been clear sailing ever since. Oh, some choppy waters, but nothing that we didn’t face together and get through.

Angie: Mama T, do you think you would have been attracted to Mama B if she had been a man?

Tina: I think I would have been attracted to her. But she would not have been the same personality. Much of who she is, is because she is a woman. Women have different life experiences than men and therefore shape their responses and world differently. Men and women are just wired differently.  And I do not mean just the penis and the pussy. They approach goals and problem solving differently. They communicate differently. They have different expectations with relationships to other people. If Bette had been a male, I believe she would have had a different relationship with Melvin than she did. Parents relate differently to a female child than they do to a male child. And that is because society relates differently to a female than they do to a male. Would I have ended up as her wife? I would like to think that I would. But honestly, I have no way of knowing.