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    Choosing part1

    Story written on July 24, 2008 by adicttosharmen.
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    42 votes, average: 3.10 out of 542 votes, average: 3.10 out of 542 votes, average: 3.10 out of 542 votes, average: 3.10 out of 542 votes, average: 3.10 out of 5 (42 votes, average: 3.10 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 1
    Words: 3994
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=70422
    Author Notes:

    Life is full of second and third chances

     

    Why is it so damn hard to make a choice?

     

    “Carmen?” Alice said looking at me worried. I looked at her for a minute and stood up and turned back and went into Shane’s room, shutting the door behind me. I looked at her and she looked up at me.

     

    “Listen,”

     

    “You’ve said enough Carmen. Now please. Leave me the fuck alone.”

     

    “No. You listen… I love you.”

     

    “But you choose blondie.”

     

    “I love Nikky,”

     

    “Get the fuck out!”

     

    “I wish I could, but I can’t. The farthest i went was outside your room. … but other that that, Dont you get it? I can’t leave you,”

     

    “But I’m constantly leaving you, I get it”

     

    “Right. But I’m still here… I’m fucking standing right in front of you, not because I don’t want to leave, but because I CAN’T leave… This would have been so much easier if you had died.”

     

    “OH SO YOU WANT ME DEAD!? That’s nice Carmen. Thanks.” she was mad.

     

    “No. I said it would be easy…”

     

    “Right, whatever. Please just leave me alone. Carmen, please.”

     

    “No. Look, the fact is, you didn’t die, so now I have to make this stupid choice. I don’t really know how to do this… or what I want to do about it. Because, I want both of you”

     

    “Yeah. Well, life’s a bitch huh?” she said sarcastically.

     

    “Tell me Shane. If you weren’t in this situation, and your heart was healthy… would we be in the same situation? Would we have been standing in front of each other, with you telling me that you’re sorry and that you want me back?…… would we?!?”

     

    “… No.”

     

    I closed my eyes, feeling the pain… nothing feels right anymore. I did expect that answer, but it still hurt to hear it.

     

    “By now, we would be in Paris…” I looked at her, confused. “…before any of this, I would be up and grabbing you, showing you why we are supposed to be together. Making you feel what you are supposed to feel when you are with Nikky… but don’t feel. But, by now you would have made a choice, and the choice would have been an easy one. But because of what happened to me, my life went twice as slow… and I felt double the pain… you know why? Because I couldn’t do anything about you and me. I couldn’t do anything about us. But, sooner or later I would have gone to get you back… and I wouldn’t come back empty handed. Carmen, leaving you at the altar was the biggest mistake of my life… and I’m an asshole. I had my chance with you and I screwed it up… but life is full of second and third chances. Carmen… in life we’re supposed to make mistakes because that’s the only way we learn… and that mistake cost me you, but then again made me realize how much you mean to me… how much I loved and still love you. I realised that. But Carmen, you know what else? I can’t live without you. You’re my light. A new heart or not… I realized that not even a new heart could get you out of my mind… not even that… So i figure i will never be over you… You see the love I have for you goes so much deeper than the heart…. its in my skin carmen in my soul… if you’re not with me every day, every hour, every minute… then I may as well be dead. I wish it wasn’t true, it would make things so much easier, but it is. There’s nothing you or I can do to change that. So, please… I’m not asking for forgiveness because I don’t want that, I know I don’t deserve that. The world knows that… I’m just asking you for your love, completely… because yeah, I’m sure Nikki is perfect. She’s hot and she loves you. But guess what? I don’t think she loves you more than I do. Because I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to love you more than I do…”

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    Comments

    1. DAMN!!! WAT A COME BACK!!! ~sitz & calmz down~ lol… Okay, as you can see I’m supa psyched dat you back to grace us wit da sequel… I think my puppy pout dat I gave you at da otha forum must’ve worked ~cocky smile~ I still got it, lol…. Man, my gurl Carmen haz a lot to think about…. well not really cuz my gurl Shane iz DA ONE 4 sho… Whelp, I hope you bout to update again cuz I already needz my fix lyke A.S.A.P. Lyke alwayz from me, Baby-gurl, LYLAS :p Stank, da’ one and only, chicka :D Holla at me if ya need anything, babez ;-) I’m out…

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