Fan Fiction
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Christmas with the Kennards- Chapter 6
“It’s not going anywhere, Button,” Donna said, nudging her daughter. “Let’s start with the youngest so that would be Shane.”
Shane picked up a rather normal looking package and tore into it quickly. She slid her finger through the tape and ripped the paper off in record time, turning the package over to see the front of it.
“It’s a book,” Shane announced as she read the title of it silently. “I’m not sure what this is?”
“It is a book,” Donna announced with a smile as Alice leaned over to look at the title of the book in her friend’s hands.
“You can’t be serious,” Alice chuckled as she winked at Donna.
“It’s entitled ‘Treat Her Like A Lady’ and is about how to date and land a woman with respect,” Donna announced proudly. “I had to special order it from California.”
“Thank you,” Shane said, her eyes wide in surprise. “I truly don’t know what to say.”
“This year was special,” Donna said, “I’ve gone all out.”
“I can’t wait,” Shane said as she opened the next present decidedly slower.
Shane revealed a leather armband branded with the initials DK on it. It was a typical leather armband that one would see a lesbian wearing, yet it had its own spin given its creator.
“Those bands seem so plain without jingle bells on them,” Donna said as she shook it to make noise. “I know the leather bands are popular with the community, but I can’t have you having just an average one.”
“Nope.” Shane forced a smile. “We can’t have that, can we?”
“You have one more,” Donna said, handing Shane a box.
“I was afraid of that,” Shane shot back quietly, glancing over at Alice who was relishing in Shane’s mortification.
“This one is from Mildred,” Donna announced as Shane opened the box to reveal a long scarf crocheted with ‘Number One Fan’ into it. “It’s a scarf.”
“One of her better ones considering the pressure she was under,” Donna said. “She made it after your amazing debut as Joseph in this year’s production. She truly is a fan.”
“It’s a scarf,” Shane said stating the obvious.
“It is so warm.” Donna rubbed her fingers over the material.
“But I live in LA.” Shane once again pointed out the obvious.
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arwen487 says
Bette a butch???? that was hilarious xD Great chappie ;)
griffen says
OMG…this was too funny!! Bette a butch…that would be a sight to see. Thanks for this wonderful Christmas gift. Hope you come back soon with another story. :)
Spumoni says
Thanks Gumby for yet another great story. I laughed often and loudly. It has been such a comforting treat throughthe wonderful and hottible hiliday. And, uh, I think Conna must have bought at least one of my gifts. Looking forward to your next story, whenever you have some time. I’ll hope that you win the lottery. I mean if I can’t win.
melrose231 says
thank you for that story, Gumby! really brought a smile to our days! looking forward to your next one.
Pagash says
Oh that was too funny. A butch Bette, bwahahaha! I love Donna Kennard, she is trying so hard to find a place in her daughter’s life, very cute.
without labels says
She hardly seems a butch at times, but on others it’s the only word that can describe her, Thanks my dear Gamb, reading this story really puts you in the Holiday spirit, and mode, it’s so cheerful and full of beautiful funny events, and it make you wish to be there to witness all of those things as apart of that wonderful family. Donna is unbelievable, she is the most funny character in the story, and here I thought that no body will take Alice’s place. Post soon Hun, and have a great Holiday. Love
caramel4vanilla says
Bette a butch…and Dana’s personalised cat racket case…seems Donna thinks she knows all about lesbians from her books…but she has know idea.nice story thanks for posting
rbabe2005 says
Too Funny! LOL little button got the better gift.
Madcapper says
I’m so glad you brought back this story. It’s a hoot!!!
fergz1 says
Gumby…thank you for the story!
ut says
That was awesome and hilarious, love it. Please post more, thanks!
mightymouse says
A toolbox for Bette the Butch. LOL! Aside from wanting to hurl herself out of the nearest window, I was half expecting Bette to exclaim “Kill me now!” too. ;> Thanks a lot for this funny Christmas tale, Gumby! Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and have a blessed, happy new year! :)
sistafloetry says
LMAO…Gumby you are too much…I laugh so hard I was in tears
toby4ever says
For some reason, whenever B & T are with the Kennards it bring up memories of a dumbed down version of the Beverly Hillbillies. This chapter was hysterical…especially Dana and Tina’s presents…then her expalnation on Bette’s….priceless. Great story and great writing Gumby!
BetteAndTinaForever says
LOL bette’s a butch…i love Donna :)
ntnrml61 says
LMAO………… too too funny!!!! Poor butch Bette LOL :D
talaula says
hey gumbo, this is lu. thought i’d leave you a personal comment using tal’s nick. no that is not me on your lap, it is the blow-up doll. just wanted to say great post, gotta go sex up my honey tal. bye.
resultsonly says
ROFL ROFL ROFL
jb621 says
Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving this site Donna Kennard. She is absolutely adorable and your writing is a true gift to all of us during the busy holiday season.
jb621 says
Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving this site Donna Kennard. She is absolutely adorable and your writing is a true gift to all of us during the busy holiday season.
pattifloatn says
Oh man that was hilarious. I just can’t picture Bette as a butch as Donna said she was. Hope that the New Year is good for you. Thanks Proofie.
peachpip says
You are too funny!! Thanks for the holiday laughs. PPS
kayab says
Oh God, this is so funny. I hope you continue to write it Gumby, thank you for such a great story.