The louder it is the quieter this voice in my head, the less I hear of them. I walk in the dark, clutching my remedy and I am drawn to the heavenly glow of the water. The cold sting of it on my fingers, and I dream of the beach, of her in my arms. I dream impossible things that can never happen because she is in love with another person, and I am in love with an angel. Each thought of her is chased with a drink from the beer, and I wish I had bought more. That I had them next to me, I can’t break the trance of the water, and I can’t stop my heart from beating. The music grows distant, and I see the deep dark of the water calling to me.

I shake it out of my head, I have lost all track of time and the song ends. There is only silence that deafens me, I can’t stand it, and I can’t take this voice in my head. I put another cd in, I leave the doors open to the pool and I walk those winding stairs up to my room. The music pulsing through surrounding me and the cold steel bars so familiar under my touch. I pause waiting to feel that release of all need, of all cares and I step off the railing crashing into the glassy surface of the water.

“Shane?” I can hear her voice shouting over the music, breaking everything.

I fall into the deep cold, my body sinking drowning all thought from my mind. Her face glows through the dark, and I see only her, before my eyes close.

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The fear gripping my body, squeezing all breath from me, I can barely see her through the dark. All I know is her falling into the pool, the music drowning out all thought. I am frozen to the spot, and I don’t know what to do.

“Why is the music so loud?” she isn’t surfacing, god please be okay.

“Man someone was ready to party look what I found in the kitchen.” Alice comes walking in holding the bottle.

“Let me guess she jumped into the pool again?” hearing this I turn to look at Syd who was holding a towel in her right hand. “How long do you think it’s been?”