The shaking breath that fills my lungs and I don’t know how long she’s been there.

“I saw her…when we came in.” they all crowd around, and I feel like we should do something. That it’s been too long, god please I will do anything just make her come up.

“What’s going on?”

“Shane jumped into the pool.”

I see her hand pulling her out of the water, I watch as Syd walks over standing there waiting for her. I see her dripping in water, her clothes clinging to every inch of skin. My lung fill with air, my chest breaks from this binding and I try to fight the tears. She mutters something to Syd, she holds the towel in her hand and turns slowly god I love her. Each step finding its own way to her, stopping as she meets me half way.

My hand stings and I see the blood running down her cheek. Fuck, why does she do this? Why the hell does she scare me more than anything in this life and the next. Her eyes, glowing in the light making me want her more than anything. I hold her, never wanting to let her go, the water seeping through my clothes. Her hands warming where she lays them, the smell of her making the tears flow faster. Her hand running through my hair, pulling closer to her, I have never realised how skinny she was until now.

“You’re getting all wet.” her voice cutting through all the thoughts of what would’ve happened if we didn’t come.

“I don’t care,” I can only hold her closer.

“Oh who called it?” Alice’s voice ringing through the air, making it easier to breathe, easier to be here.

“Shut up Alice,” I don’t want her to let go. It feels like a dagger is taken from my chest when she pulls away. “What are you guy’s doing here any way?”

“Syd said we could come over,” Jenny piped up, I forgot she was here I forgot they were all here. “But we are going to go back to my place. Right Syd?”

“Huh…oh yeah, we were just dropping by to pick something up.” she looked around and grabbed a movie, showing it to everyone. “So we’re going to go now.”

“Bye…we’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“I wanna stay and see if they…get it on.” good old Alice always wondering if we were going to have sex. “Ok fine but I’m so totally stealing this, I’m going to need it with these two flirting all night.”

She walked away with tequila in hand, following a whispering Syd and Jenny. Her hand sliding from my grasp as she walks away, into the warmth of the house. I follow her up the stairs into her bedroom, and I stand in the doorway, not knowing what to do. She throws away the towel, and strips away her shirt, and I can’t take my eyes away from her. My heart starts to race, pounding in my throat, my blood warming my body as it flows faster and faster. My head clouding with her, her eyes, her lips, her body. I swallow hoping that it would calm my mind, ease my beating heart. I feel it edging out and I look into her eyes, knowing that it would be alright.

“I love you.”

TBC