”Bette? Are You ok?” Tina asked as Bette shook out of her trance.

”Uhmm? Yeah..Tina?..Sorry. Uhmm? Do you think we could stop here for today. I really do need to go home and take a nap before I start my shift tonight.” Bette asked feeling exhausted from talking about her ex.

Tina nodded as she got up from her chair and walked over to Bette who stood up and pulled Tina into a hug. Tina instantly became weak as the woman she had loved for so long and still had feelings for was now pressed up against her body. She slowly snaked her arms around Bette’s waist to her back and pulled her close. She sniffed her hair that had hints of her familiar perfume and shampoo still lingering in its strands. Tina couldn’t breathe as she was living out her life long dream of now holding the woman she had loved from afar. She didn’t want it to end but Bette had other plans as she pulled away much to Tina’s disappointment.

”Thanks for everything Tina. I guess I will make another appointment on my way out to meet again. I think this has been the best dollar I have ever spent ” Bette smiled as she grabbed her purse and walked to the door.

Tina chuckled

”Bette? You can call me night or day. Ok? If there is anything you need I will make sure that you get it” Tina said honestly and opened the door.

Bette nodded in appreciation and smiled

”I will. Thanks” Bette replied leaving Tina standing at the door watching her walk away.

—————–

Bette walked into her apartment with the need to read more from the diary. After exhausting herself talking about her fucked up relationship with her ex to Tina she wanted to feel loved and the mystery girl writing about her made her feel that way.

She opened the top drawer of her nightstand and grabbed the diary as she kicked off her shoes and flung herself down on the bed. She opened the diary to the next unread entry.

Sept 10, 1991

Dear Diary,

Today was a sad day for me. I’m in tears now as I write this. I have told you Diary how incredibly beautiful Bette is and of course she wasn’t going to stay heartbroken for long or resist the charms of the many girls lining up at her trough to feed on her beauty . Well Diary, Sandra Kingston the captain of the Jacket dance team just turned her head. But I can’t blame her. Bette can attract the straight girls and turn them in am instant. She just has that charm. I heard Billy didn’t know what hit him when Sandra dumped him after hearing Bette and Marissa broke up. Bette just batted an eyelash and Sandra was swooning all over her.

Nobody will love Bette like I do. But that’s not enough. It won’t be enough for Bette because that’s all I have to give. Just love. I don’t have the beauty or the amazing figure like these Barbie dolls here. I’m a scrawny, awkward, zit faced loser freak that nobody cares to notice. Even Bette doesn’t look my way. Well she does but she doesn’t really look at me.

Everything is superficial in high school. When looking for that perfect girlfriend or boyfriend the criteria is always based on the surface. Looks and beauty. Nobody here, not even Bette, looks beyond the surface. I bet if they did they would find I’m as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside.

I know what you are thinking Diary. You know I go on and on about Bette’s beauty. Well I would be an idiot if I didn’t.. I can look into her eyes and see that she is a beautiful person on the inside. I can tell by the way she smiles and interacts with people. She is my muse and I strive to be perfect like her one day,

Bette closed the diary, set it aside, and sighed.

”I can’t see you now and I have no idea what you look like and I really don’t care. It’s your words along with your passion and conviction in which you express them that is sucking me in…This sounds totally crazy but I need to find out who you are” Bette mumbled as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

TBC