”I’m just celebrating my friends engagement to you Porter” Maybe it was out of habit that I gave her a hard time but I wasn’t going to sit there and have her judge me any longer, especially after the day that I had ”You know what I don’t understand?” I turned my attention to her ”How you can come over here and just start on me. You don’t see me ruining your night by giving you shit. I’m practically giving you a free pass for the night.”

”Believe it or not, Tina. I see right through your cold exterior and I was actually beginning to enjoy spending time with you”

”What’s your point? All these irrelevant questions and why? Save me or something? My face was turning red, I felt lightheaded – defiantly need a water ”Girls have tried that and were sadly turned away” I winked at the bartender as she handed me my – what? seventh shot for the night.

I swiftly shot her a concerned glance ”You didn’t tell Carly, did you?”

”Tell her what?”

I must have given her a look because she just continued to stand there and smile at me ”Nothing”

She got close to me. Real close that I could feel her breath on my neck and as hard as I tried not to, I closed my eyes ”You have nothing to worry about Tina. I respect your friendship with Carly”

PRESENT TIME

And here I sat, drowning my sorrows – in the same bar where they had their engagement party.

I was losing my mind.

I let Bette evade me and for all I know blaming the alcohol that night we slept together was my way of passing off what I had been feeling, making it OK to sleep with my friends girlfriend.

I pick up my phone after pressing on the screen a couple of times I stared at the number in my contacts, wondering if I should call.

But then what was I going to say? How could I have explained myself?

I never got why Carly so easily forgave Bette, I wanted to take the entire blame and have them both hate me, that way I could somehow redeem myself, purify what I did and Carly no problem believing that I would do something like that and she placed all the blame on my shoulders, which suited me fine… as long as Bette was happy.