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Diary of a Mad Addict . . . Chapter 26
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Damn, dude, I know you are just trying to help but go get a mint biscuit or something, I snarled at him, instantly regretting the tone in my voice I had used with him. Hanging his head, tail between his legs, he swatted at the eye patch, picked it up in his mouth when he dislodged it, growled, and tossed it aside. He stared at me for a moment then walked away stopping to cozy up to K as she entered the bedroom with some ice cream and carrying MY PHONE. Of course she would have to pet him but did she have to let him lick my ice cream? He may be my dog but he is definitely Ks baby.
Is Beach being mean and bossy again, baby boy? K asked the dog in a child like irritating voice reaching down to comfort him and offer him sweets.. . And I ***** swear , if I wasnt so incapacitated I would have smacked the living ***** out of both of them.
I recalled K sitting next to me on the floor and telling me that my boss had tried calling me wanting me to come into work on my day off. He said that our home phone was busy (DAMN DIAL UP COMPUTER CONNECTION !) so he tried my cell which K had told me I turned to vibrate so it wouldnt ring and wake us up. I remember her offering me the ice cream which Elvis had licked, she taking the first bite and laughing at me for being such germ freak, but all I could think about was how lucky I was that the phone message was not from my Pen.
K told me she was really worried about me lately, being so accident prone and distracted and all. Ever the considerate one, she suggested that I make an appointment to see Dr. Stella Repp, my absolutely ***** gorgeous work-appointed mental health counselor.
And there I was, lying on the good doctors couch awaiting her return , once again forced to seek treatment at my boss request as opposed to Ks suggestion. Stella had offered to grab us a Dew and some little powdered donuts. She knew that I was watching my diet but she also knew that my desperate situation called for some desperate measures. And I was desperate for some real caffeine and sugar.
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My goodness…an advertisement when leaving comments now? Anywho, back to YOU..You sick, sick woman….oh how I loved this tale. ” I simply couldn’t resist detailing a concern I had. I grabbed my government issued black ink pen from my breast pocket and wrote a comment.” LOL!! ” Unbeknownst to me this man was nuttier than a Snickers bar and gayer than a rainbow colored feather boa on a stiletto-heeled drag queen.” See, now I know plenty of straights who enjoy a good rainbow boa every now and then. HA, no I dont! Bravo, ya nut. I need some scotch!
Beach, you really surpassed yourself with this story, I laughed from beginning till end. Just the imagination of you…
I’m looking forward to the complete check up you get done by the hot hot dr. Gabs LMAO
It has been almost a month since your last post. Don’t leave us hanging. There are addicts like you out there who need our fix and can relate. We are a mess, our lives are Lconsumed and your postings make us smile and feel a sense of normality. Don’t listen to the Dr. Addiction, screw the job, K will understand, just write more often.
God Beach…or should that be Bette Beach…you have one strange and twisted mind!! I love every corner of it!!!
LOL @ “That bitch is fuckin hot when she is sleeping around” – ain’t that the truth!!
Beach, it looks like you sure are going to have some serious issues – better pull that pillow down a little tighter yourself, before K does…that might make it a little less painful…
A wonderful start to the day. I love me some Beach humor.
LMAO! That was just what I needed this morning…and I thought I had issues;)…
I second that motion stella. More, Beach, more!!