Fan Fiction
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Diary of a Mad Addict
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(These ramblings have nothing to do with the story . . . Sea . . .good luck girl . . .T . . . I love you babe. . . . Katey . . . I am still around and miss you . . . . Chase . . You were always THE ONE . . . )
I sat on the cool tiled bathroom floor, my back against the wall. Dressed only in a tank top (white of course) and a baggy pair of silk shorts, I crossed my legs at the knees, my right elbow resting there, my chin in my palm. I kinda sorta looked like Rodin’s “The Thinker” except for the obvious fact that my left wrist was shackled to the steel towel rack just above my head, making me look as if I were asking permission to be excused.
I was not angry about being handcuffed to the wall; in fact, I probably deserved any punishment my not-so-loving-at-the-moment wife decided to mete out. But rather I was at a loss as to what to do next. So I just sat there, arm raised, thinking – – – so many thoughts my brain was actually tired.
K was genuinely disgusted with me as I just may have “crossed the line”, “pushed the envelope too far”, “put my foot into my mouth” with this cheating ‘non-existent’ girlfriend thing. When it came to tolerance, K was limitless in her acceptance of my increasingly insane behavior – my bizarre, eccentric and relentless paranoid addiction to everything L – especially the deliciously entertaining and talented writers of the fan fiction. Yea, K was a saint but right now she was a being a royal pain in my *****. For when she pulled out those cuffs after I accused her of being a player, I had experienced a temporary brain lapse as I belted out, “OH MY GAWD K, PPAALLEEEEZZZZE let me Cagney this time, PALEEEZZZE.” K was not amused and slapped them on me and the towel rack then left me tangled up in blue for nearly three hours. (MOTHERFUCKIN STOOGE).
During the initial minutes of my incarceration I was convinced that K would return, unhook me and talk until we straightened things out. I loved talking with K. She and I rarely agreed on anything and our discussions often escalated into shouting matches laced with derogatory terms of endearment like ‘MORON’, ‘IDIOT’ , STOOGE, ‘REPUBLICAN WANNABE’ “VEGGIE LOVER” , “DONUT QUEEN” and so on. I can’t ever remember finishing an argument angry. On the contrary, most of our heated discussions ended in laughter or a wrestling / tickling match or a pillow fight or a “food-for-all”. Invariably, that mutt of mine, when forced to choose sides, ALWAYS stood by K, literally and figuratively. Yea, he may have been my dog, but he was K’s love.
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Beach – You are awesome girl please don’t stop this story…you crack me up along with the sadness that you are realizing the love of you life is with you every day. Thanks for revealing ‘The ONE’ to us. I think Sea is ‘The One’ for me but I have not read chases story but will begin today. keep up the great work girl….
Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat…ah, you get the idea; would keep me from seeking out the ONE. You know the one…the one who makes my sides split with laughter…the one who makes me cry and howl because she’s loonier than a hooker with a yeast infection on Saturday night…that’s right beachy, and why you ask? Let us count the ways, shall we?
““You fuckin pull that rack from its hinges or crack the tile or dent the dry wall I will come in there and pepper spray you after I throw a glass of grape juice all over your piece of shit white tank top. Then I will give a shovel so you can just dig your own grave. So just stop it you moron.”
(DAMN . . . SHE SOUNDS REALLY REALLY PISSED)
“There was even a mobile folding tray, similar to the ones used in hospitals, which K had concocted in case one or both of us wanted to use the computer while bathing.”
“Come on, K, I am sorry that I said you gave me herpes,”
“(FUCK, HERE IT COMES . . THE “BUT” . . . THE LECTURE . . . THE SPEECH . . . THE PART I DON’T UNDERSTAND . . )” LMAO!
“Little did I know as I kicked started the bike that my wife and my shrink had been conspiring to plan a surprise birthday party for my big “40” next week. Little did I know as I zoomed out of the driveway, not looking back that every single person I knew in my life would be there. Little did I know as I rounded the corner which lead to the highway that I knew so little . . . .”
See what I mean? TBC maybe? Oh I don’t think so. I’d click my way through China as long as a beachnut story was waiting for me at the end of the cyber tunnel. Keep em comin ya nut.
…..WOW talented. That is one uniquely great piece, I love it, please continue?….
This story cracks me up. Why does it take u so long to post? Lovin it, make it sooner rather than later…. please.
OMG, a T6beach story that has left me sad? WTF? And to top it all off, now you tell me I’m the one, after all these months? Oy, you better come back with another chapter and make this right Beachie! BTW, that was a kick ass chapter.
Hey that’s was so Great Please continue I Love it Please Post soon I’m still catching up.
Hey Beach…I will call you soon…I swear!! It’s about time you outed Chase and told everyone that she is THE ONE!!! Do you know how hard that secret has been to keep?! Great chapter…totally funny, yet sad at the same time. I’m with hunty 38…why the hell does it take you so long to post!!??