“Beach, I just want to . . . “

K’s words were interrupted by the loud ringing of the house phone, one of which was located on the shelving above the tub. We both turned to the sound of the ringing then back to each other as if to say, “Are you gonna get that?”

I held up my wrist which was still attached to the towel rack and shrugged my shoulders letting her know that I was in no position to “get that”.

She giggled a little and was about to move to answer it when the machine picked it up freezing us BOTH in place.

“Karen, hey, its Stella,” the voice from the machine echoed through the bathroom.

(WHAT THE ***** IS MY SHRINK DOING CALLING MY WIFE? WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK IS GOING ON??)

“I got your message, girl, and no problem. I will be there. Sounds like fun. By the way, I really enjoyed lunch the other day. Capona’s was an excellent choice.’

(CAPONA’S??? THAT IS MY AND K’S FAVORITE RESTAURANT . . . WHAT THE ***** IS MY WIFE AND MY HEAD DOC DOING TOGETHER AT THAT PLACE??)

“Oh, and one more thing. No need to worry about your wife. She doesn’t suspect a thing. That girl is one crazy lady, so wrapped up in herself she has no clue, believe me. Ok then, see you Thursday.”

We looked at each other in silence both stunned at the words we had just heard.

But for different reasons of course. K was in shock that she got caught and I was in shock that I actually caught her.

My fear of K reading my text message was suddenly replaced by my realization that my wife REALLY was cheating on me . . . And with my psychiatrist no less. I was so crushed at that moment that I literally felt my heart tighten and squeeze the life out of me.

I always thought at this moment in one’s life that flashes of all the good times would roll through the brain like a perpetual slide show, image after comforting image. But that didn’t happen. No, my brain was just filled with thoughts of sadness and wasted days.

Just like in the movies, K was preparing to say that old tired clich, “It’s not what you think, babe,” and before the words seeped from her lips the handcuffs opened, releasing me.

I held up my hand to silence her before she spoke even one word. With my other hand I rubbed the wrist that had been imprisoning me for the past four hours.

“Don’t, just don’t,” I said as I brushed past her out of the bathroom stealing my cell from her hand as I passed.

I found my way to the other bathroom and closed the door. I washed my face then sat to pee, something I had needed to do for hours. I didn’t cry, I had not right to.

When I finished, I washed my hands and my face one more time, stopping to catch my reflection in the mirror.

“YOU ***** FOOL” I said to myself and wondered after I said it if I was referring to my actions over the past year or the fact that I was blind to K’s cheating. But it didn’t matter . . .

I opened the door and walked past K once again who was waiting just outside.

“Beach, please, you don’t understand,’ she pleaded.

I grabbed my leather jacket which was laid over the back of the living room sofa, located the keys to the motorcycle and simply walked out the door feeling I deserved everything I got.

“Beach, please, don’t go . . .let me explain,”

Ignoring K completely, I found my way to the garage, mounted the bike and saw K leaning against the doorway shaking her head.

Little did I know as I kicked started the bike that my wife and my shrink had been conspiring to plan a surprise birthday party for my big “40″ next week. Little did I know as I zoomed out of the driveway, not looking back that every single person I knew in my life would be there. Little did I know as I rounded the corner which lead to the highway that I knew so little . . . .

T B C maybe . . . Later . . .