She knows me so well. It’s hard to imagine how two people know each other so well in the span of a few short years, but it’s all happened so easily. And she brings out the craziest, most amazing things in me that I never knew were even there.

She is my world : )

~~~~~

Spanking never felt as wonderful as it does when she’s really into it. I love when she goes and goes, then kneads my flesh and drags her nails over it. But why do I like that?? Sometimes I wonder …

How does any of this make sense? I mean, what possible advantage might we ever have had by entertaining these fantasies? And when did people of any era begin enjoying these aggressive/dangerous things? I know I can be hard on myself, but I often do sit and wonder when these feelings first started. And how.

How did anybody realize this about themselves without having ever heard of it? I should think they felt much lonelier than I do now, having to keep this from friends. Someday I might tell them, not that I think they’d understand. But Tina understands. She knows all of me, and loves me even more for it.

It’s incredible, how much we love each other. I would do anything for her. I really want to try one of her fantasies, but I don’t think I can do it! She says she likes how strong I am … and she wants me to struggle with her the way we do … but she wants me to really try and win! What on earth would I do if I did win? … I mean … I don’t know. I really wouldn’t know what to do. Sure we make love, and sure at the start, things were always more or less equal, but for the most part I am constantly submissive to her, and I enjoy that. I am happiest doing as she says. So how would I turn the tables, and pin her down, or do what I want with her – without asking for permission first? My oh my … but I do want to try …

~~~~~

Three days later – it seems like so long, sitting and thinking about that fantasy – and she’s brought it up again. We talked about it! She really wants to try it, and she reassured me that she only wants me to enjoy myself, and to try and please her. And boy oh boy do I ever enjoy that. Most times, I get more pleasure from satisfying her than I do when I’m satisfied myself. It’s a strange thing.