"Thank you." I found myself mumble so low I was barely sure the words had escaped. But I knew she heard me alright as she smiled a smile of empathy. I normally would have detested such compassion but I welcomed the feeling as it settled within me. This was new. This was the new and improved me.

"So you tell me where do you really want to start from? I have led this so far, and I see that maybe you should take me on this journey with you. You lead me." I sat fidgeting in my seat, puzzled where does one start?

"I guess although so many bad things happened when I was growing up that when I met Tina things changed. I felt content with love… But if I’m honest I’ve always had a hard job believing how much she loves and me and why she even does for that matter. Look at me I’m a mess". I looked down at my own body, clothes crumpled and my hair tangled. I couldn’t take much pride in the way I looked on the outside when I felt like this inside.

"What makes you believe Tina doesn’t love you?".  Her voice echoed as the silence had fell upon us, it did stifle me a little just how quiet the room had become.

"How could anyone love me… I’m just what my father said I would be. A failure and a let down, never able to maintain a steady relationship without cheating. All the things he did I promised myself I wouldn’t become. But yet I sit here and when I look in the mirror all I see is him staring back at me". I was at an all time low, slowly crumbling because I felt unconvinced I could overcome these feelings.

"Bette, I think because of the fact you cheated on Tina you now feel more compelled to the fact that you’re everything you said you wouldn’t become. But that doesn’t mean you’re like your father. One similarity between yourself and your father does not justify you’re him in any way shape or form."

 I listened carefully to the calm tone of her voice, somehow soothing the overactive feelings fighting in my body. Adjusting my shoulders and closing my eyes, I felt the waves of small sounds that can only be heard when silence is present. As I breathed in the thickness of the aroma building from the fragranced candles, i could feel myself warming to this woman… My therapist. And although i never thought i would feel this way, it was nice to finally relinquish the backlog of catastrophe I called my life.