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    Drowning – 25

    Story written on September 21, 2005 by lucia.
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    68 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5 (68 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 3553
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=56725
    Author Notes:

    Tina contemplates – and Shane is sad but then she’s damn mad!!

    She left for New York a broken woman. When she left, she had truly believed that she would be back home in just a few short months. She thought that the time in New York would afford her what she needed to heal and rebuild her sense of self. She believed that she could recover from the blow that life had dealt her. She believed she could come home, healed, ready to forgive Bette and resume their life together. She loved Bette so much, that the idea that she was too broken to go back never entered her mind. Tina never had a moment in the last five years where she was ready to say never to Bette. The love was too complete, too encompassing and entirely too absolute.

    For all of these years, Tina built her life back up. It was slow and it was hard and it was painful, but she kept drudging through. If she was totally honest, a part of the motivation was to be ready to go home to her life with Bette. But the biggest motivator for her was now Cara. So she did what she needed to live. Or at least somewhat live. And she built a life. She started a new career. She bought her own apartment, a place that she and Cara would always have to call home. She made friends, she let herself have a life. On occasion, she let people into her world. Well, she let Julia in. But it was start. In Julia she found one of those rare friends who were instantly family. It was like the gang back in LA. It felt familiar and strange at the same time, like somehow she was betraying all of them. But she lived.

    Tina now, however was back in WeHo. She was faced with all of the old demons. She was staring into an abyss. That abyss would take away all she had built back up. If Tina let herself truly think through all of it, she realized that she had actually accomplished all that she set out to do in New York. She had built herself back up. A part of her was still broken, but some injuries are chronic and will never fully heal. Tina had learned how to fold that pain into her life and not let it become what identifies her. She had even forgiven Bette. Then why didn’t she come home sooner? Why was she here, seeing Bette with Cara, the family she always imagined and not seeing her future? In all actuality, Tina knew the answer to that; she just wasn’t to say it aloud.

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    Comments

    1. It was a lot of reading, but I’m totally enjoying it!! Love the way you wrote Tina and Shane and shed some light on their feelings and emotions on the different situations. Excited to see where you’re going to take the stalker plot…especially with Alice leaving and Dana staying behind. Can’t wait for the next post

    5. Thanks for the update. I have nothing but positive vibes from your story…yeah,I realize that doesn’t make exact sense…whatever *rolls eyes* Thanks again

    8. i really loved the way you described tina’s feelings. great insight when you wrote this: “She could be a wonderfully caring person, but it was when needed, not just because” that is so damn right. thanks.

    10. Oh how my heart raced when I saw that you posted lol. The insights into Shane was great, her fears and reason were understandable. The stalker plot got me on the edge, what’s gonna happen now that Alice is leaving? Pls post soon

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