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    Drowning – 25

    Story written on September 21, 2005 by lucia.
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    68 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5 (68 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 3553
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=56725
    Author Notes:

    Tina contemplates – and Shane is sad but then she’s damn mad!!

    She had steadily lost more and more of herself in their relationship. Though she could see it happen, there wasn’t a thing that Tina would have done differently, she was happy. She felt a love so complete, she felt like her heart could explode at any moment. She loved someone completely and felt loved completely. Didn’t that require some changes to get used to? So if she lost a lit bit of herself, why not? It was more than worth it.

    As their relationship grew and changed, there was more and more of Tina that was hidden, Bette was a force. Her personality could take over any situation. It was a part of her charm. It was what made Bette, Bette. But it forced the people around her to slightly lessen their own in order to accommodate it.

    When a person is as dynamic and charismatic as Bette, it can lead to becoming self-centered. Not really selfish, but self-centered. Bette was kind and caring, but on a day-to-day level, most of the things in her life and her conversations centered on herself. She could be a wonderfully caring person, but it was when needed, not just because. When Tina thought about it, when she stayed in the relationship for as long a she did, knowing all the was giving up by doing it, she knew that was losing herself. But she was ok with that. Tina Kennard alone as a person wasn’t worth as much to her as Bette and Tina were. And as long as Bette and Tina were ok, then she was good. As a pair, they fit perfectly, a perfect symbiotic relationship. Everything she gave of herself for that relationship, she got back ten fold. So it was worth it. Even losing her sense of self was ok, because what she got in return was just so much greater.

    But when Bette betrayed that relationship and had taken a partnership that was based on mutual respect and a shared identity and severed its core, it broke Tina. She had not only lost the relationship, the “us” aspect of her life. But because she had spent so many years losing her individual persona, she lost herself totally. She was a shell of her former self. She had lost herself, her partner, her lover, her wife and her identity.

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    Comments

    1. It was a lot of reading, but I’m totally enjoying it!! Love the way you wrote Tina and Shane and shed some light on their feelings and emotions on the different situations. Excited to see where you’re going to take the stalker plot…especially with Alice leaving and Dana staying behind. Can’t wait for the next post

    5. Thanks for the update. I have nothing but positive vibes from your story…yeah,I realize that doesn’t make exact sense…whatever *rolls eyes* Thanks again

    8. i really loved the way you described tina’s feelings. great insight when you wrote this: “She could be a wonderfully caring person, but it was when needed, not just because” that is so damn right. thanks.

    10. Oh how my heart raced when I saw that you posted lol. The insights into Shane was great, her fears and reason were understandable. The stalker plot got me on the edge, what’s gonna happen now that Alice is leaving? Pls post soon

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