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    Drowning – 25

    Story written on September 21, 2005 by lucia.
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    68 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 568 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5 (68 votes, average: 4.13 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 3553
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=56725
    Author Notes:

    Tina contemplates – and Shane is sad but then she’s damn mad!!

    The last few days had been such a whirlwind for Tina. She had come home for the first time in years and it didn’t quite feel like home anymore. Well it did feel like home, but the safety that home should bring wasn’t there anymore. Her safety and security were across the country in New York. But then again, not all of it, Julia had become a huge part of her safety and security and she was in LA now. But still, New York was home now. LA had been her home for so long. When she first moved there all those many years ago, she had only needed about a week to acclimate herself. Though she missed her friends and family tremendously, she loved where she was. She got used to the different life in a matter of days and within a month could imagine living nowhere else in her entire life.

    But she no longer lived here. She made a life for herself across the country. She had a daughter that made waking up each day worthwhile, a job she loved and a loft that was home. So why was being back here so unsettling for her? Why was she back to having the nightmares that had finally subsided just last year?

    Bette, that’s why. Sometimes you can love someone so much that is becomes suffocating. And even as you watch yourself suffocating and see yourself gasping for air to try to salvage the life that used to exist, that love is so strong you can’t do a thing to stop it. Actually, better put, the love is so strong that you don’t want to stop it.

    That was her relationship with Bette. She had met her as a young, straight twenty something and was totally swept off of her feet. Intentionally or nor, Bette Porter had totally rocked Tina’s world and turned it upside down.

    From that moment on, Tina did not have total control of her own life. Her decisions changed, her opinions changed, her very core changed. Tina has had so much time to reflect on this. She has analyzed this from every possible angle. After way too much time as an introspective person, this is what she figured out. Bette Porter would always hold a part of her heart. Tina had loved her too absolutely for anything else. From that first kiss, a part of her heart would always belong to Bette. She probably knew it then, but wasn’t ready to admit it out loud.

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    Comments

    1. It was a lot of reading, but I’m totally enjoying it!! Love the way you wrote Tina and Shane and shed some light on their feelings and emotions on the different situations. Excited to see where you’re going to take the stalker plot…especially with Alice leaving and Dana staying behind. Can’t wait for the next post

    5. Thanks for the update. I have nothing but positive vibes from your story…yeah,I realize that doesn’t make exact sense…whatever *rolls eyes* Thanks again

    8. i really loved the way you described tina’s feelings. great insight when you wrote this: “She could be a wonderfully caring person, but it was when needed, not just because” that is so damn right. thanks.

    10. Oh how my heart raced when I saw that you posted lol. The insights into Shane was great, her fears and reason were understandable. The stalker plot got me on the edge, what’s gonna happen now that Alice is leaving? Pls post soon

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