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    Ever Onward

    Ever Onward

    by: Speed_Racer

     
     

     
     

     
     

     
     

     
     

     Certain things in life just beat you down. You never see them coming. It’s so sudden and intense that it can take you over, consume you. Until all that’s left is a shell of who you used to be. And when things beat you down until you’re damn near dead, you have to take a minute or two and think about things.

    To contemplate this new version of yourself. A person you had never envisioned being, ever. Sometimes you could look and see things for what they were and the reasons why you’re so bitter, and so angry. But then there are the subtler, less defined things. These things trip you up. Make you wonder. Make you ache. These are the things you can’t acknowledge, the things you don’t want to look at, and these things are the only things holding you back.

    You know as soon as you take that final step… Look at everything you’ve become and all the pain that’s in your wake, that things will never be the same.

    You never said you were perfect.

    Never.

    You had never said it, but there is no doubt that you believed it. People had told you on numerous occasions. You’re the perfect couple, the perfect executive, and the perfect daughter.

    Until suddenly you weren’t perfect.

    The coupledom you had crumbled at your feet.

    Your job resisted and fell by the waist-side as you prepared for pregnancy.

    Your status as the perfect daughter had fallen years ago the moment your parents found out you were in love with a woman.

    You never wanted to be perfect.

    You just always assumed that you were.

    Mistakes happen and you know that. Sometimes you don’t mean them and sometimes you do. Sometimes things just spiral out of control and there’s nothing you can do to control it.

    You had always wondered how she could have cheated on you. The thought had never crossed your mind. That she would look elsewhere for…whatever it was she needed.

    Sex?

    Comfort?

    Dominance?

    Subservient behavior?

    No matter, you think. The thought still had never crossed your mind and when you saw it… Saw it with your own eyes and you couldn’t believe it. She wouldn’t do that to you. Not then, not ever. Not her.

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    Comments

    1. Tina? It’s pretty apt, the emotions you wrote. Not bad! You’re good at expressing emotions that are normally found deep within a person. I only wish that Tina would show it more in the show itself (S3). Great job speedy! Do continue to write!

    2. Wow…I’m just reading this and am blown away! You have a gift of being able to flesh out the thoughts and conflicting emotions in these characters. Wish you would continue! Meanwhile, I must admit that there seemed to be a quantum leap at the end that confused me. Did Bette just accept Tina’s return?

    3. No Arkaycee Bette didn’t accept her. This was just Tina upon seeing Bette after a period of not seeing her and she was feeling like she was finally home. Bette’s confused as hell because in my mind Bette hasn’t seen Tina in a few months. Tina really tried to move on with her life without Bette. It just didn’t work. Oh and Tina had been at the airport going on a trip with Henry and then left and drove to WeHo to see Bette. And the ending scene is just with Tina standing on Bette’s porch with Angie to get what she wants.

    4. Wow this was great, I agree with rebelzz about Tina showing it more on the show. I hope you continue this story, I would love to see how you would play out the scene with Tina at Bette’s door. okay, great story though

    5. Ouch Speedy, the opening paragraphs kinda hurt. Wow, well again you have done an excellent job. Now you have three little doors open, I don’t know which one I want to peer into next.

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