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    Ever Onward

    Story written on November 29, 2006 by Speed_Racer.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 4053
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63390
    Author Notes:

    Meandering thoughts. Everything leads back to her. Why does that surprise her? Oneshot.

    She had cheated though and whatever they’d had was broken.

    The fact that she didn’t immediately break it off with the other woman, well that hurt, it hurt a hell of a lot actually.

    You weren’t enough for her.

    You’d made the mistake of forgetting how you two started. It was lust and awe and love came later. At least for her.

    You though…you fell for her hard. Love was like a bolt sent straight from the sky to your brain rippling down into your heart. You’d been encompassed by it. Unable to deny it even though you had never considered yourself to be attracted to women.

    You were changed from the moment your eyes met.

    You thought she was too.

    You shake your head then to clear your thoughts. You shouldn’t even be thinking of her. It’s been years. Things are different now.

    You glance at the man seated next to you. He’s on his cell phone talking to his son. He’s a good man, you think. He is. He’s treated you with nothing but respect and affection. And he’s a good attentive father.

    He’s everything you ever wanted in a man.

    But you know the truth deep down, in a place you don’t acknowledge anymore, a place so dark and buried you had almost forgotten about it.

    He’s everything you ever wanted in a man.

    But he’s not her.

    She’s like a slow virus.

    Slowly infecting you until you realize it’s too late to stop it. This thing that’s inside of you. Harbored deep in your heart, something that lingers too long in your brain. Something that makes you ache when you look at your daughter.

    You turn your gaze from him and stare into the sea of moving bodies in front of you. You watch them wondering about the ruins of their lives.

    You clutch your daughter tighter to your chest and run a hand over her head, feeling the soft downy hair beneath your fingers.

    You’ve never been flashy and abundantly outgoing. You didn’t like to walk into a room and take it over. You’re more reserved. Almost but not quite shy.

    You’ve always been that way.

    You tried to please everyone. It was a habit you’d grown quite accustomed to over the years. You didn’t begrudge it. It was something you liked to do; by nature you were a nurturer.

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    Comments

    3. Tina? It’s pretty apt, the emotions you wrote. Not bad! You’re good at expressing emotions that are normally found deep within a person. I only wish that Tina would show it more in the show itself (S3). Great job speedy! Do continue to write!

    6. Wow…I’m just reading this and am blown away! You have a gift of being able to flesh out the thoughts and conflicting emotions in these characters. Wish you would continue! Meanwhile, I must admit that there seemed to be a quantum leap at the end that confused me. Did Bette just accept Tina’s return?

    7. No Arkaycee Bette didn’t accept her. This was just Tina upon seeing Bette after a period of not seeing her and she was feeling like she was finally home. Bette’s confused as hell because in my mind Bette hasn’t seen Tina in a few months. Tina really tried to move on with her life without Bette. It just didn’t work. Oh and Tina had been at the airport going on a trip with Henry and then left and drove to WeHo to see Bette. And the ending scene is just with Tina standing on Bette’s porch with Angie to get what she wants.

    8. Wow this was great, I agree with rebelzz about Tina showing it more on the show. I hope you continue this story, I would love to see how you would play out the scene with Tina at Bette’s door. okay, great story though

    11. Ouch Speedy, the opening paragraphs kinda hurt. Wow, well again you have done an excellent job. Now you have three little doors open, I don’t know which one I want to peer into next.

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