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    Ever Onward

    Story written on November 29, 2006 by Speed_Racer.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 4053
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63390
    Author Notes:

    Meandering thoughts. Everything leads back to her. Why does that surprise her? Oneshot.

    You weren’t surprised when you started looking and appreciating the sight of certain attractive men.

    You had always admired the male physique.

    What surprised you was that she told you to go explore your feelings. She told you to figure things out. And so you did.

    You hadn’t expected that from her.

    Truthful with only yourself you know you hadn’t really wanted that reaction from her. You wanted something else.

    She didn’t fight for you.

    You couldn’t forgive.

    She didn’t fight for you.

    You sit beside him in LAX and watch the people.

    Wondering.

    Questioning.

    Seeking answers to questions you already thought answered.

    You know that things between you and he aren’t as they should have been, what they’d been months ago. It was less smooth, less appealing, and less familiar as you had once thought.

    His body is hard, his lips thin, and his hair rough.

    His fingers are too big.

    His feet are cold.

    His taste is different.

    He’s become unfamiliar to you. A face that you don’t recognize and you can’t grasp how that happened. Or why.

    You wanted a change.

    You didn’t search it out, but it came to you anyway. A change so drastic and deliberate that it changed your whole life.

    You wanted her to want you.

    You wanted her to fight for you.

    You wanted her to love you.

    She wanted your daughter.

    She didn’t love you.

    She could barely hide her disgust.

    You reap what you sow, you think distantly.

    She knew the pain now, you think.

    She now knew what you felt years ago.

    The anger, the humiliation, and the pain.

    You knew for a time that it made you happy to see her like that. To see that even she, the great one, could be brought to her knees by something so sudden and painful.

    You wanted to hurt her.

    She was hurt just like you wanted.

    It was not a game this life of yours. It has taken you awhile to realize this. You can’t play life keeping score. Tit for tat. One wrong upon another does not make a right.

    Anger still festered in you.

    You couldn’t seem to shake it, not even when you had moved on. You would look at her and be hurt all over again.

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    Comments

    3. Tina? It’s pretty apt, the emotions you wrote. Not bad! You’re good at expressing emotions that are normally found deep within a person. I only wish that Tina would show it more in the show itself (S3). Great job speedy! Do continue to write!

    6. Wow…I’m just reading this and am blown away! You have a gift of being able to flesh out the thoughts and conflicting emotions in these characters. Wish you would continue! Meanwhile, I must admit that there seemed to be a quantum leap at the end that confused me. Did Bette just accept Tina’s return?

    7. No Arkaycee Bette didn’t accept her. This was just Tina upon seeing Bette after a period of not seeing her and she was feeling like she was finally home. Bette’s confused as hell because in my mind Bette hasn’t seen Tina in a few months. Tina really tried to move on with her life without Bette. It just didn’t work. Oh and Tina had been at the airport going on a trip with Henry and then left and drove to WeHo to see Bette. And the ending scene is just with Tina standing on Bette’s porch with Angie to get what she wants.

    8. Wow this was great, I agree with rebelzz about Tina showing it more on the show. I hope you continue this story, I would love to see how you would play out the scene with Tina at Bette’s door. okay, great story though

    11. Ouch Speedy, the opening paragraphs kinda hurt. Wow, well again you have done an excellent job. Now you have three little doors open, I don’t know which one I want to peer into next.

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