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From Afar
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Dana started blushing as Bette seemed to stumble on the word sexual. Bette didnt seem to notice as she paused then continued plowing ahead as she had a renewed intensity to her voice now that her inner thoughts where finally finding a voice.
When the physical break did come I actually at the time couldnt figure out why it happened. I can honestly say I never make the conscious decision to cheat. As Bette is going through these thoughts she has her hands flat on the table in front of her subconsciously running her finger across the empty space on ring finger. As she was talking her voice had a calmness that seemed to compliment the deep regret that could also be heard.
At this point Bette became pensive almost in a brooding voice I thought I was happy with myself, with our lives, but I really wasnt. I was blind to the fact that by hiding portions of myself from Tina I was in fact being unfaithful. This is a long pause here as Bette is almost talking to herself with Alice and Dana a little afraid to make any noise. The secretsall those secrets I kept those were the building blocks of my undoing. I did this from the beginning of our relationship and as time move forward and we ran into difficulties it just became easier to deal with things by withholding more and more. Big and little things it didnt matterIt all added up to my break of that personal union. But anyone with rational thought would know that by holding more and more of myself away from Tina means she was seeing less and less of the real me. In the end the Me that Tina was seeing was a far vision from the me she knew at the beginning of our relationship. The memory of what I was in the beginning was the vision that was keeping Tina there.
You know there is a stress that comes from not telling the truth. I mean people in loving supportive relationships are supposed to be healthier, happier and more satisfied with their lives. They are supposed to be less likely to have mental or physical health problems. This isnt the case when you have this type of personal break as I did. Making this kind of break sets in motion a whole chain of emotions and none of them are positive. They at first create little feelings of guilt or remorse, all things I justified in my mind. But the problem is that they build. The tell tale signs that we were in trouble were the months and months of frustrating little nit-picking arguments I would get into with Tina. I mean these fights would result in one of us storming off or worse yet it leads us to stop talking to each other for long stretches of time. Whats absurd about the whole thing is that these fights were totally about me, my self esteem, my walls where I kept my secrets, my own private lies. But marriage isnt about ones self. Marriage is about a devotion or loyalty about the coming together of two into one for a union which has no room for self-satisfaction. As Bette is saying this she can see that parts are affecting both Dana and Alice but they havent tied it all together yet.
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K
I really liked Bette’s explanation. I hope it helps A and D. Love this.
I like your Bette and I love your stories thank you so very much
I love how Bette is so opened…GREAT CHAPTER PLEASE POST SOON
OMG Jwet that was simply awesome, Bette has completly stripped herself bare and opened up, my biggest worry is the foundation secret will this be her downfall? I hope not! She has to come clean to Tina about this, she can’t carry this secret about with her as she moves slowly forward on building her relationship with Tina again.
Looking forward to next post Jwet, thank you.
OK WOW!!! awesome, when I read it the first time!! But the 2nd time I’m just pissed off now, WTF why is bette telling them this, when she is lying her ass off to tina about the foundation??? J you better make Bette tell tina, I can’t take this right now. I mean how can she sit there and feel good about herself trying to save A/D relationship. Ok sorry for the harsh comments, it from lots of crying god damm TK’s story, and what it made me do, then there was the no sleep with me having to be at work at 6am, working 12 hours today, so I’m really crabby right now and want to kick bettes ass!!
Ok Jwet, I think brutally honest needs to be added to the soft and squishy. Not a bad thing, only good can come of it for Bette with all her friends seeing the changes she’s made and the lesson’s she has learnt.
I,m afraid Bette needs tp tell Tina about her part in the foundation otherwise the relationship they are trying to build again, is based on a foundation of lies, fess up Bette or this will be your ultimate downfall.great Jwet as usual.
i truly love your insight into relationships and i love theway that you write bette as so insightful and self-reflective
Great and sad. I find myself with techgal, wondering how Tina will take the news if she figures out Bette’s involvement in the foundation.
That was incredable very touching and sadly vary realistic which is what makes you an excellent writter and this an awesome story…oops im getting mushy must have hit a nerve,,lol looking forward to more thanks
wo, deep. can’t wait to see Tina’s reaction to Bette’s secret. Great story.
OH boy…very elucidate chapter..and very sad cuzz this kind of thing coult happen to every one who loves someone VERY MUCH but have fears to open…i´m pretty sure they wont live a lie and to make sure they really will trought every thing and start clean they have to talk and Bette needs to have the same talk to Tina and it better Bette tell about the fundation before Tina knows for herself… Bette has to learn not to hide and show herself cuzz Tina loves her no matter what..thanks really amazing chapter i love it but this is not a secret..lol ;-)
excellent!!! i know someone who should read it!!! ok cya later. Thanks once again.
I’m with Bette&TinaForever. This was simply amazing. But it’s time for Bette to fess up to Tina about the foundation and I hope Tina doesn’t get too angry. Thanks for such a wonderful update! Loved it!
I think you put your soul into this one…it certainly speaks to mine. NC17’s are great…but noting beats gut level honest feelings. This is my fave by far.
Wow good chapter. This is amazing and hope Bette will be honest with Tina about the MYV Foundation. Post soon, thanks!
Hiya Hiya… I love this so much. Thank you for the comments about mine. I swear I don’t know where it comes from. 20 yrs I guess on the job maybe. Still I didn’t know how to write until I started reading your story. OK i admit it. I slept thru English class. Any way the excitement is coming for you story and I can’t wait. Thanks for being such a sweet mentor.
Woo, loved it!! Bette’s depiction of her relationship with Tina was so well written…I was completely blown away!!
“As Bette is saying this out loud her mind immediately comes again to her biggest secret. The one she prays she will never have to reveal to Tina, the MYV Foundation.” Omg, what will happen if Tina ever finds out…eek, hope her reaction is good. I’ll just have to keep on reading, thanks Jwet, wickedly awesome chapter!
I’m concerned that even while in the process of rebuilding Tina’s trust and re-establishing their relationship, Bette’s involvement in the foundation may have laid the seeds of their ultimate undoing. Again.
Gosh, this could be sad.
Thanks for your analysis of what it takes for a relationship to succeed. Something to consider…
I continue to throughly enjoy your story, what a shame Tina wasn’t there to hear Bette’s thought’s, please continue, looking forward to your next chapter.
Hi, I read ch 1-16 this morning, and I just wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying the story. Hopefully it won’t take me long to get completely caught up…
Great as usual, I absolutely love this story. Can’t get enough of it actually :) Please post again soon.
I got one word for you…wow! That was amazing and I can totally see the Bette on the show explaining her feelings and emotions on why she cheated like that. Awesome.
Better catch up on my story, I’m posting more often, heh. Kidding. Love ya to bits, woo!
This is powerful stuff. I love Bette’s willingness to open up to her friends and try to convince them not to make the same mistakes! But geez, I hope Bette takes her own advice and comes clean with Tina about the Foundation…