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“As I ask you at every session Bette. Is there anything you would like to discuss with me?..And let me remind you that everything here is confidential and I can not disclose anything discussed in our sessions without your consent or by a court order”
I nod and tap my fingers on the arm rests of the recliner
“I’d like to talk about something weighing on me I haven’t shared with you Dr Emily”
She looks at me with a raised eyebrow. She has always wanted me to be honest in my sessions and I have to a point without revealing the true reason for my admission into the burn unit and psych ward
“Ok. May I record this session Bette?”
Now I’m nervous. She has never asked to record our sessions. She has always just written or scribbled in her notepad. I think she must have hundreds of notepads on me filed away somewhere. So now I feel she senses I am about to unload some heavy information and well….I am
“Yes you may” I say without hesitation
I mean what does it matter now. At least I can be honest with myself and to Dr Emily who obviously feels I have been hiding things. She’s so perceptive but she has never pushed me
I watch her get up from her chair that is sitting directly in front of me and open her desk drawer. She pulls out her small recorder and brings it over to the table in between us. She pushes the button and nods at me
“Ok..Begin” she says to me and sits down once again grabbing her pad and pen.
I take a breath and rub my temples slowly with my fingers
“I guess I will start from the beginning..Is that ok?”
Dr Emily nods “You can start wherever you need to Bette and with whatever you are comfortable with”
I sigh “None of this is comfortable”
“Take your time” she says calmly
She’s so patient with me. Always has been.
“Ok. Well it began when my mother married my step father Curtis Stone who was the police chief of Langley at the time until…well you know” I pause looking at Dr Emily and she just nods so I continue “Well I was 13 at the time…At first Curtis was very nice to me and treated me like a daughter of his own which I never felt before and my Mother seemed happy. And everything was fine until I turned 15. I started noticing my Mother wasn’t eating much and she seemed to be losing weight and complaining about not having any energy. She went to the doctor but he couldn’t find anything causing her symptoms or diagnose her. Curtis also began to change around that time. I’m not sure what had caused it but he would be verbally abusive to my Mother. He never hit her physically. Not that I saw but she started neglecting the housework because of not feeling well so I started doing the housework just so Curtis wouldn’t come in and take it out on my Mother. He ignored me for the most part. Like I wasn’t even there. But as long as the house was clean and dinner was cooked Curtis wouldn’t be verbally abusive. So one day I happen to be cleaning his office which he had told me to stay out of but he had left the door open and I saw how filthy it was so I began to clean and made my way over to his desk. While moving papers around to clean the desk I ran across a $750,000 life insurance policy my Mother had taken out before she had met Curtis and listed me as the beneficiary. I had no idea why it was even on his desk when all of her important papers were in a lockbox at the bank. I quickly moved things back like I found them and got out of there”