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    Healing Tears – Chapter 15

    Story written on August 24, 2015 by BAT2012.
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    1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 8
    Words: 4397
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=92129
    Author Notes:

    Your concerns brought on doubts about what we were doing and you suggesting that we see Dan Foxworthy further endorsed it. I couldn’t stand the idea that I wouldn’t be a good parent. Not having the best example with my own parents I would have done anything to be better than them Tee, but I

    Your concerns brought on doubts about what we were doing and you suggesting that we see Dan Foxworthy further endorsed it. I couldn’t stand the idea that I wouldn’t be a good parent. Not having the best example with my own parents I would have done anything to be better than them Tee, but I wasn’t being elitist for not wanting to join that therapy group. I just didn’t feel comfortable discussing the intimate details of our relationship in such a public forum with a group of total strangers.

    Maybe I would have embraced it for the good of our child had I found it helpful, but truth be told that was the most toxic, dysfunctional group of people that I’ve ever encountered in my life. You might interpret it as me having high expectations but if they were reflective of how fucked up we were then in hindsight maybe Dan was right. We should never have considered bringing a child into our lives at that time.

    I was totally out of my depth with this parenting thing. Not only was it uncharted territory but I didn’t even have a good example growing up in my family to draw from. My mother abandoned me as a child, my father never accepted me for who I am, and my sister left her own child with his grandparents because she wasn’t equipped to take care of him. I was so dependent on you to be the great mom that I knew you would be. I thought the best I could do for both of you was to make sure we were financially secure, yet you took my being at work as abandonment.

    It was a blow to my ego. I was driven by the fact that I didn’t want to fail my own family. Although I went along with the therapy my heart wasn’t in it. Going to therapy only served to feed my doubts. I had overestimated myself. I couldn’t admit defeat so I just kept pushing harder. I had made this magnanimous declaration when you expressed your concerns about not being prepared. I told you that the only preparation you had to make to parent a biracial child in a lesbian relationship was to commit to spending the rest of your life with me then I couldn’t live up to it. I took on the full burden of easing your anxieties without giving any thought to what I was taking on myself. I could never have lived up to that Tee but I was too fearful to admit it. Your expectations and my own … I couldn’t handle all my shit and yours too but I felt I had to because I was the one that insisted we do this.”

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    Comments

    2. I think more people could use Paul as their therapist. He does make sense and maybe he use a unconventional brand of therapy, but i think it works. Having fun by chasing butterflies and then to realese them as a way to release the sad, painful memories and welcome the positive is a fantastic idea.

      Bette and Tina really needed it, now they have to do more work with Paul as guide but i am positive they will make their relationship healthy, strong and loving. They need and deserve to be together, and Angelica offcourse as one happy family.

      Thanks for the quite insight full chapter!

    3. I have to admit this isn’t how I thought the story would go. The level of comunication is the highest possible. The emotions displayed are raw. The beauty in all of this is hope is restored and they are at a place where real forgiveness is possible.

    4. Maybe if BETTE had been more aware of the emotional toil TINA was undergoing when she lost the baby and not put all of herself into her work ,a lot of pain could have been avoided.BETTE chose to be unfaithful instead of coming to her wife for comfort,TINA felt like a failure because she was being viewed as one intentional or not.Couples think that having a baby brings them joy,BETTE/TINA found out it can bring hurt of the worst kind.Glad they realized they never grieved for the baby nor for their loss,pain,hurt nor have they come to terms with the infidelity but they have come to the one thing that was truly missing,the baby’s name.Letting go of JASON KENNARD PORTER is the stepping stone they needed to cross not whether TINA could parent a bi-racial child or that her partner was bi-racial it seems to me a moot point now.BETTE didn’t need the validation from her father she needed to show and not ask him that she was just as good as him but she would not abandon her family as quick a he did his.BUT she did feel like she was entitled to behave and do things her way.pps thanks

      • dunnthat, the next chapter will explore and. perhaps give a bit of insight into several of the points you raise from Paul’s point of view. He is speculating, but I. think he hits the mark with his observations. Thank you for sharing your views.

    6. You thrill me with this wonderful chapter, I am
      with my watery eyes, Ufa !!
      Only love can forgive, love and rebuilds.
      Tears heal the body and liberate the soul …
      The complete constellation.
      Good night.

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