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    Healing Tears – Chapter 15

    Story written on August 24, 2015 by BAT2012.
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    Number of Comments: 8
    Words: 4397
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=92129
    Author Notes:

    I’d always operated in a protective mode of self-preservation. I never let my guard down until I met you Tina. I too felt like you were proud to be with me. I needed that from you but the thing is I became so dependent on you that I didn’t know how to be me without

    I’d always operated in a protective mode of self-preservation. I never let my guard down until I met you Tina. I too felt like you were proud to be with me. I needed that from you but the thing is I became so dependent on you that I didn’t know how to be me without you. When things were going well it wasn’t so noticeable but when I had so many stressors pulling me away, I found myself flailing. I had nothing to hang on to. When you got pregnant and pushed me further away I got scared too. I was drifting on my own. I was lost and you weren’t there to help me to find my way back.

    You were busy having a life with your friends while my life wasn’t my own. I didn’t control anything. I couldn’t get anything right. I couldn’t please anyone. I was criticized for standing up to my beliefs and convictions. I was questioned about my sexuality, my race, my religious beliefs, my being, even my ability to parent and to partner with you. I needed someone to be proud of me; to stand strong with me, to reassure me. I wanted that person to be you Tee. I wasn’t seeking someone else but the need was so strong that I was pulled almost against my will to fulfill it. That’s not an excuse but I think it contributed to some of what went wrong between us after we decided to get pregnant. Maybe we should have listened to Dan Foxworthy and just waited. Maybe we did lose our baby boy because we were not ready to have children together. Maybe it was my fault for pushing Marcus Allenwood on you. We just both put too much hope into this baby to fix everything between us. We made so many bad decisions and mistakes out of desperation and it only served to destroy us.”

    “It wasn’t your fault Bette. I won’t let you take the responsibility for us having a child or losing him. I wanted that baby just as much as you did. Granted we made mistakes, and we did act out of desperation but that baby was loved. He was wanted by both of us. There is mistaking that.” Tina said with certainty.

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    Comments

    2. I think more people could use Paul as their therapist. He does make sense and maybe he use a unconventional brand of therapy, but i think it works. Having fun by chasing butterflies and then to realese them as a way to release the sad, painful memories and welcome the positive is a fantastic idea.

      Bette and Tina really needed it, now they have to do more work with Paul as guide but i am positive they will make their relationship healthy, strong and loving. They need and deserve to be together, and Angelica offcourse as one happy family.

      Thanks for the quite insight full chapter!

    3. I have to admit this isn’t how I thought the story would go. The level of comunication is the highest possible. The emotions displayed are raw. The beauty in all of this is hope is restored and they are at a place where real forgiveness is possible.

    4. Maybe if BETTE had been more aware of the emotional toil TINA was undergoing when she lost the baby and not put all of herself into her work ,a lot of pain could have been avoided.BETTE chose to be unfaithful instead of coming to her wife for comfort,TINA felt like a failure because she was being viewed as one intentional or not.Couples think that having a baby brings them joy,BETTE/TINA found out it can bring hurt of the worst kind.Glad they realized they never grieved for the baby nor for their loss,pain,hurt nor have they come to terms with the infidelity but they have come to the one thing that was truly missing,the baby’s name.Letting go of JASON KENNARD PORTER is the stepping stone they needed to cross not whether TINA could parent a bi-racial child or that her partner was bi-racial it seems to me a moot point now.BETTE didn’t need the validation from her father she needed to show and not ask him that she was just as good as him but she would not abandon her family as quick a he did his.BUT she did feel like she was entitled to behave and do things her way.pps thanks

      • dunnthat, the next chapter will explore and. perhaps give a bit of insight into several of the points you raise from Paul’s point of view. He is speculating, but I. think he hits the mark with his observations. Thank you for sharing your views.

    6. You thrill me with this wonderful chapter, I am
      with my watery eyes, Ufa !!
      Only love can forgive, love and rebuilds.
      Tears heal the body and liberate the soul …
      The complete constellation.
      Good night.

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