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Healing Tears – Chapter 15
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“Tina’s right Bette. Although you two were acting independently you’d made a joint decision to start a family. You made some erroneous assumptions. Pushing full speed ahead under the circumstances was irresponsible. You were reckless but you had good intentions and you couldn’t have known the outcome. Perhaps if you did you might have taken a step back to rethink some things.
Sometimes people are in our lives for a very short time as was your son, but he left a lasting impression. Maybe his purpose was to prepare you for parenting Angelica. Maybe he was here to pave the way for his little sister. Don’t invalidate his existence. Don’t feel like he was taken away from you for any other reason than it was his time. Hold on to his memory. Honor him and celebrate his young life, but let the bad feelings go. Don’t equate the time you had with him as the worst of your relationship.”
“How do we do that Paul?” Bette asked.
“I’m going to help you. Losing a loved one is devastating no matter the circumstances but it’s especially difficult when it’s a fetus that has barely evolved but has already touched your hearts. From what you’ve said, you never took the time to grief his loss together. Bette you felt you had to be strong for Tina when she miscarried. It’s a natural reaction given the circumstances. Tina was the strong one when you broke down after the Faye Buckley ordeal but neither of you completed the grieving process. The overwhelming grief is what might have led to the further destruction of your marriage. People mourn loss in different ways. What you need to do is acknowledge that you are both hurting. Respect that there will be times when neither of you needs to be strong. Just go with your feelings and let go.”
Bette and Tina reached for each other again. They were in tuned to the need of the other for the mutual comfort and the physical contact. Bette smiled through her tears and remarked on their inability to hold back from crying again. “It seems like now that we’ve opened up the floodgates it’s never going to stop.”
“Don’t try to stop the tears Bette. It’s OK to cry. I feel that you both need more of that type of physical release. Don’t hold back. Let it go. It just makes matters worse if you hold everything in. It’s better for you physically and emotionally to let it out. Crying and laughing can be the best medicine for what ails you sometimes. It’ll be cathartic in some cases. It’s very important to always let your partner feel that it’s OK for you to cry with them. Vulnerability with someone you love should never be taken for granted or as a sign of weakness nor should it be exploited or used against them. Opening up yourself to someone else like that is a show of strength and trust between you. The pain you are suffering is real and it’s shared. No one else can understand what you are going through like your life-partner, soul-mate and best friend. That’s what you want to be for one another no matter who else you have in your life. Sharing the intimate parts of yourself is a sacred covenant between you. You should both have a comfort level in doing so freely.”
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BAT really sweet update. Hope the tibettes are at peace and start the healing toward their relationship with each other.
I think more people could use Paul as their therapist. He does make sense and maybe he use a unconventional brand of therapy, but i think it works. Having fun by chasing butterflies and then to realese them as a way to release the sad, painful memories and welcome the positive is a fantastic idea.
Bette and Tina really needed it, now they have to do more work with Paul as guide but i am positive they will make their relationship healthy, strong and loving. They need and deserve to be together, and Angelica offcourse as one happy family.
Thanks for the quite insight full chapter!
I have to admit this isn’t how I thought the story would go. The level of comunication is the highest possible. The emotions displayed are raw. The beauty in all of this is hope is restored and they are at a place where real forgiveness is possible.
Maybe if BETTE had been more aware of the emotional toil TINA was undergoing when she lost the baby and not put all of herself into her work ,a lot of pain could have been avoided.BETTE chose to be unfaithful instead of coming to her wife for comfort,TINA felt like a failure because she was being viewed as one intentional or not.Couples think that having a baby brings them joy,BETTE/TINA found out it can bring hurt of the worst kind.Glad they realized they never grieved for the baby nor for their loss,pain,hurt nor have they come to terms with the infidelity but they have come to the one thing that was truly missing,the baby’s name.Letting go of JASON KENNARD PORTER is the stepping stone they needed to cross not whether TINA could parent a bi-racial child or that her partner was bi-racial it seems to me a moot point now.BETTE didn’t need the validation from her father she needed to show and not ask him that she was just as good as him but she would not abandon her family as quick a he did his.BUT she did feel like she was entitled to behave and do things her way.pps thanks
dunnthat, the next chapter will explore and. perhaps give a bit of insight into several of the points you raise from Paul’s point of view. He is speculating, but I. think he hits the mark with his observations. Thank you for sharing your views.
Loved the update. Very cool collecting the butterfly’s and then releasing them. Thanks
You thrill me with this wonderful chapter, I am
with my watery eyes, Ufa !!
Only love can forgive, love and rebuilds.
Tears heal the body and liberate the soul …
The complete constellation.
Good night.
A very well written, thought provoking chapter. Thanks BAT.