—–

The gang stayed silent and just looked at Shane while mark changed out the tape and pressed play again

—

The first scene was of Shane laying on the sofa in the living room with the music up as jenny and Carmen come walking out… Jenny’s getting ready to leave for work .. the phone rings and jenny answers.. it Veronica Bloom Shane says to tell her to kiss her ass and jenny yells bye.. Shane goes to say it again but Carmen says it for her.. Shane Just stares intently at Carmen as she yells at her then Carmen leaves crying… Shane buried her head in the couch and cries for a while before storming into her room where she proceeds to take ‘x’ then storms out of the house ..

The next scene is only an hour later of Mark carrying Shane into the house and places her onto the table in the kitchen, Shes bleeding from the cut on her forehead and below her eye , her knee is also bleeding. Mark runs into the bathroom and gets the first aid kit and comes back in to find Shane crying, he hugs her and asked if she needs to go to the hospital,,, she says no and carefully rips her pant leg open to reveal the large gash on her knee already beginning to swell… Mark cleans it and helps her into her bedroom before leaving..

Cut to 15 minutes later of Shane after shes taken a shower and then just stares at her reflection in the mirror at the corner of her room, at the bruises on her ribs, the cuts on her face and side before pulling her hoody slowly over her torso… Shane limps over to her bed and starts to cry uncontrollably and grabs a book of her nightstand, throwing it across the room at her reflection breaking the mirror …. she cries herself to sleep..

cut to another partial interview

M: You’re a quiet girl. You don’t talk much.
S: Most people talk too much without actually saying something. Why add to that noise?
M: Ahh, but no. That’s not why you don’t talk.
S: Okay, Mark. Why?
M: Because you have questions, the same as me. Questions you want answers to. Only I actually ask mine.
S: Yeah, and sometimes you shouldn’t.
M: Why? Is it wrong to want to know the answers? To want to seek out the truth?
S: No, but – the way you do it… you push too hard. It puts people off. It puts me off.
M: But you don’t like anyone asking you questions, Shane. Are you saying that you especially don’t like it when I ask them?
S: Yes.
M: Why.
S: Because… you want to know everything.
M: What’s wrong with that? That’s what I do. Documentaries are meant to shine a light on the … darker sides of the human condition. Don’t you find that interesting?
S: No.
M: yes you do..the only difference, between you and me is, that you don’t need a camera.
S: I don’t do what you do. I don’t put people on the spot the way you do.
M: Why don’t you like it when people ask you questions, Shane?
S: Because I don’t –
M: okay, and?
S: Because I never know what they want me to say.
M: More than that. What is it?
S: Because I don’t… I don’t know what they’ll ask. They could ask anything.
M: Questions you don’t have answers for?
S: Yes.
M: Why. Too personal?
S: Yes.
M: Does that scare you? The thought that someone could ask you something and you wouldn’t know what to say? You wouldn’t know what to tell them? Does this scare you, Shane? Sitting here like this and answering my questions?
S: [inaudible]
M: What? I need you to speak up.
S: YES!
M: Good! Now, why?
S: I want to have answers for the guestions. I want to tell people what they want to hear. And when they… ask about… I don’t know what they want to hear.
M: Why not just tell them the truth, Shane?
S: Nobody ever wants to hear the truth. Even if they say they do, they don’t really mean it.
M: So is that why you don’t speak? Too much truth in the air? Don’t think they could take it?
S: No. They couldn’t.
M: Why.
S: Why, why, why, why, that’s why! Questions lead to answers and answers lead to more questions and it never fucking stops. They always want to know more.
M: Are you afraid of what your friends would think if they knew the truth about you? They don’t know, do they.
S: No they dont and wont as long as i can help it….
M:ok, So… what’s your favorite type of girl, Shane? Do you have one? You gotta have one.
S: I don’t.
M: Come on…
S: A brunette… shorter than me, so that when I kiss her, I have to bend over a little. Great smile. A beautiful body. Funny. Cool… but down-to-earth. Doesn’t play games.
M: Very nice, Shane. You’re gonna roll your eyes at this next one, I know, but… what about love? Think it exists?
S: Yes.
M: How do you know? What proof do you have?
S: What else can you call it when two people look at each other from across a room and you can feel them touching each other… when you watch as their smiles illuminate the room just at a glance.. i know its a little corny but i do believe in sole mate… just not when it concerns me..
M: hum….have you ever been in love.
S: yes
M: Tell me something, Shane.
S: Yes, Mark.
M: I’m being totally serious, here. What the hell happened to you that was so bad that you have to do this to yourself? why Hide? S:(silence)
M: Shane!
S: (she stood up) Mark god damit… you want to know why i dont trust people huh? (she began pacing the room)…. well why dont you try being 5 years old and have your father leave because he never wanted you or being 9 and have your mother drop you off at some building at midnight and then when you go inside like she tells you too and find theres a cop and a women in a suit waiting for you, then you run outside to find your mom gone forever…. then you go getting bounced around from 28 differnt foster homes in 4 years because you arnt the perfect child.. to boyish.. to skinny.. hairs to short.. has trouble sleeping.. to difficult, you name it they said it … then I got lost in the cracks and no more home at 14 … i lived on the streets for 3 years and the only reason i survived was because of Racheal but even that didnt last.. She didnt even want to leave the center that night but i begged her too i said we would be back before the doors closed , but we… we were running late on the way home.. i knew a short cut and we took it.. but ran into Damien my old drug dealer i owed him money and he decided he was gonna make me pay one way or another so their i was 17 going on 18 slammed up against the wall watching as the only person who cared about me and watched out for me get beaten and raped for something i did … it should have been me …but no i was made to watch ever time he violated her body, I heard every scream she made for help from me and then i was forced to watch as the torcher to her body continued long after she was dead, i watch her life get sucked out of her eyes and when i tried to fight back to get them off.. i got a knife in the side and woke up 2 days later in the hospital…. but the real fucked up part is damien and his buddys got away with it…. no one heard or saw anything the cops said but that didnt sit with me so i shot all three of them i didnt kill them but i would have if Jack hadnt tackled me, i spent about 9 months in juve………(she stopped pacing his studio and looked directly at him)….the only reason im still alive now is because i met alice because she was doing a story about the hairstyling school i attended then she led me to bette and tina and so on so forth happy…………                                                                                        

M:(silents) shane can i ask you one more thing                                                                                             

S: ya sure why the fuck not                                                                                                                          

M: who was the last girl you slept with, i mean really slept with were you enjoyed it?                                 

S:Mark                                                                                                                                                           

M: humor me                                                                                                                                                 

S: it was … (muffuled)                                                                                                                                  

M: who?                                     

S:Carmen!!                                                                                                                                                  

M:but ive seen you with girls sense then what about the flower girl, phebe sparkle , the twins                 

S: first they are not twins and i didnt participate. and phebe, im not supposed to tell but i slept on her couch so jenny and carmen could be alone and the flower girl that.. i ended it before it went any where ..

M:then why bring them home i mean if your not gonna fuck um why make me, jenny, and carmen think you are                                                                                                                                                                   

S:Because thats what i want certain people to think. Its my way to hide i guess…

end inteview end tape

——

Shane turned off the Tv and took a seat on the coffee table back turned to everyone, her head down as the tear she had been trying to stop, started to fall… her body was shaking .. she was destperatly trying to brace herself for the rejecting she believed was about to come… and the silence filling the room was causing her to hyperventilate… her brain was over working itself with memories of her life, the good, the bad and the ugly but one thing hurt the most how alone she felt in that second….

TBC