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    Hindsight – Chapter 10

    Story written on December 12, 2006 by Jobadge.
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    Number of Comments: 29
    Words: 4135
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63561
    Author Notes:

    Tina Kennard: Her smile could stop traffic and cause weakness in every limb in my body…

     

     

    I leaned back, watching her, the words I had whispered to her barely audible, but I heard her sigh, a contented sigh, did she hear me, did she say those words and hear the reply, did she…

     

     

    I used to walk across the room to her, there would be throngs of people around us and yet she would look at me, I could have been standing with my back to her, and yet I would feel it, just feel her look, I would turn and see her smile, her whole focus on me, I felt like the only one in the world. 

     

     

    I would walk to her, slowly with no other intent than to reach her, reach her and kiss those lips gently before touching them with my finger, I would whisper then, the merest whisper and I would always say the same thing, ‘I love you sweetheart…’, she always said she liked me calling her sweetheart, she would whisper that to me at night, in the dark when she laid behind me, her arm draped over me, she would kiss my neck and tell me, ‘I like you calling me that…’, ‘What?’ I would answer, ‘I like you calling me sweetheart…’ she would say, and invariably we would kiss, she would kiss me so gently, so sensually, we would make love, sweet gentle love, she was always so gentle with me…

     

     

    She opened her eyes, blinking, her eyes seemingly trying to focus, reacquainting herself as if she had to take a moment to realise at what point in her life she was at, I saw her smile slightly, but it wasn’t a happy smile, it was an almost knowing smile that her life wasn’t how she had just dreamt it to be, I knew how that felt, to be dreaming of a life, a life so full and happy, only to wake suddenly and realise that things were not that way at all.

     

     

    I could only imagine how she felt as she woke each day this last seven weeks and five days, seemingly without hope, without the life she wanted, without the two things she had said that completed her life, the things I had taken away from her life…

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    Comments

    3. This makes me so sad in a happy sort of way. They need to just keep going. Saying what they feel, whispering the words of love that only they understand. YOu know a kiss wouldn’t hurt.

    11. I think that they are going to be okay also. It is going to take a lot of work on both parts but mostly from Tina. Bette will always love her, but now Tina needs to show Bette that it is safe for her to love again. For once it is Bette’s turn to have someone caress her and tell her it is going to be okay and then to know that she, Tina will be around more than just one day. Hopefully, love will conquer all.

    12. i’m with coop, a gentle sweet kiss would not hurt right about now and then T should dial up some food…do not leave bette alone just yet…she needs T’s presence…love it…PPS

    13. Jo…You should be in deep shit w/your GF. A talent such as yours. You should be writing sonnets the likes of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. *grin* With this excruiating and abiding love they have for each other, how did they get mired in this morass. Remember how Peggy P. talked about those artists who could fuck like bunnies but also wrote achingly beautiful love letters to one another? What did Peggy say? Something to the effect that fucking w/o art is boring? I don’t remember exactly. That’s why you need to write love letters to your love.

    15. You write so well that its as if im there experiencing it for myself. Great update. I have been looking forward to every update since u first started it. Love it. Cant wait for the next. PPS

    16. Guys, you’ve said it all. I really don’t know what else I could add. Besides, you left me pretty much speechless, Jo ( which is a big challenge that you’ve taken up since I’m usually such a chatterbox ! ). This chapter was simply beautiful, comme toujours. You never never disappoint us, Jo… And I’m almost certain you never will, unless you choose to write those dreadful words…The End. Thanks a lot for this wonderful chapter.

    19. Lovely! Was waiting for this episode! :) Post soon please!!!And for the record… I am totally with azmama Peggy Peabody: “Well, you know, all that fucking, with no art, is really rather dreary. ” hehehe

    21. LOL@the love letter “issue”!… Great chapter! Gotta love this unconscious mutual declaration of love… Progress, progress… Hehehe… You, and you only, could go from the worst possible situation between these two and make it all better!… I’ve got to say though, that I also categorically refuse to relate this fic to “I thought…” and “Remember when…”. That’s just plain impossible for me! So, in my own twisted mind, I just make it that they happened to spend a nice WE in a hotel where they ate oysters and made love on a rose petals bed, but that’s as far as it goes for me… ;) I’m sorry, but to even consider that they could have fucked up so badly after everything that was realised, said, and shared in these two other fics is just too much to ask from me! ;) But that’s okay, it totally works for me that way! LOL! Thanks, Jo, you’re the best!

    23. Oh, there’s hope… how wonderful! I hope they are brave enough to let their guards down and allow themselves to feel all the beautiful things they bring out in one another. And about the love letter thing… I thought this WAS a love letter? It sounds like one to me. Great chapter, Jo. Thanks.

    25. Another beautiful chapter! The way you put their emotions in to words is just so amazing! Thank you Jo… and you should be writing love letters or else you wouldnt be doing justice to your talent. LOL :))

    27. Off course, I (and I don’t think I stand alone ;) want them to be better then ok… But gosh what a way to start… Henry is instantly forgotten now that Tina is allowing herself to feel this emotional rollercoaster… Noone else could do it the way you do, Jo… Lovely as always!

    29. All still very intense, sad and emotional…but always with that little hint of hope…cause i think we all know that your going to make this alright..not easily but in the end!!they will be ok….So this chapter, as with all others was great, and a pleasure to read!..really good stuff.

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