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Surrounded by the quiet walls of her new, almost-furnished office, Bette sat slumped in her leather executive chair with her feet propped up on the desk as she stared into nothingness, her angular face somber and her dark gaze morose and out of focus.
In a matter of a few hours Bette’s condition had managed to reduce from an inconsolable sobbing mess to a black abyss of apathy. She had cried, and cried, and cried, with absolutely no relief coming. It had felt as though she had a big gaping hole where her heart was supposed to be, a hole that was filled with such terrible sorrow, a deep and aching pain that Bette had felt like she was drowning. The waves of grief had kept striking her incessantly, sucking the life out of her. The worst part had been when after those agonizing waves, everything had suddenly stopped, just moments before Bette had drowned. The water was calm, no more agonizing waves, no more drowning, but she felt nothing. Emptiness, complete numbness.
The only thing Bette wished at this point was that she could turn back time, and undo what she had done, and unsay what she had said – all the hurtful words that should have never left her mouth. She wished there was something she could have said to Tina that would have changed her mind about leaving. But what more words could have made an impact other than ”I love you, Tina” and ”I can’t live without you, Tina”? Then it suddenly dawned on Bette that perhaps a few more ”I’m really sorry I cheated on you with your sister” and ”I want to become a better person for you” could have changed Tina’s mind into a more positive outcome. Perhaps, Tina had really needed Bette to grovel and beg until Bette appeared remorseful enough in Tina’s eyes. Because she WAS remorseful, very much so.
Or maybe Tina just didn’t need Bette, and there was nothing Bette could have said or done to change that.
”Love is not enough anymore…”
Tina’s words echoed through Bette’s head in painfully hypnotic repetition, as if Tina screamed them down an open, empty tunnel.
Bette felt so stupid, having always thought that love was enough. She had thought their love for each other was strong enough to make it through the storm. Turned out she had been wrong.