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She began to recall the first time Tina had ever left her, which was when Tina had found out about her criminal activity. It had hurt immensely, but still there had been hope of reconciliation. Then, that time when Tina had found out about Helena being the undercover cop, which had scared Tina away from Bette again. Bette remembered the hurt of betrayal mixed with resentment, but somehow Bette had remained hopeful Tina would come back to her. Next, the day of her arrest. Their separation had taken a severe toll on Bette’s psyche, the loss had haunted Bette for those many years of imprisonment. But even then there had been occasions where Bette had dreamed of Tina while she looked at the picture of her, hoping to see her again at some point of life when her sentence would be over. Then, the whole thing with cheating and betraying their love had happened. Bette had really thought they would never find their way to each other again. But as soon as she had come to her senses, had reached forgiveness and had realized she was the one who had acted cruelly, selfishly and unfairly, the hope of winning Tina’s love back had returned to her.
Today their separation hurt different. Bette had no hope this time, none whatsoever, and there was no point in having any if she were honest with herself. She knew the circumstances were such that the reconciliation became impossible the moment Tina boarded the plane. This was a point of no return.
The desire to find a bar and drown her sorrows in a night of alcohol-induced debauchery, though only as temporary relief, felt very agreeable with Bette all of a sudden. However, the desire was immediately toned down as Bette reminded herself of an important meeting she would have to attend tomorrow morning – the first staff meeting held at her law firm. The burden of responsibility weighed heavily upon her shoulders. Her motivation to build a bright legal career, along with her ambition, drive and energy of those last few months seemed to have dissipated the moment Tina entered the airport. Her belief in the value of her effort had disappeared. Was it only a matter of despondency caused by losing the love of her life with no chance of ever getting it back? Bette didn’t know for sure, but right now she could do without this law firm of hers and all the responsibilities that came with it.