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    If I Fall: Chapter 14

    Story written on February 15, 2007 by swismiss24.
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    45 votes, average: 3.44 out of 545 votes, average: 3.44 out of 545 votes, average: 3.44 out of 545 votes, average: 3.44 out of 545 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5 (45 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 7
    Words: 8643
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=64548
    Author Notes:

    Shane starts to figure out that Dana may still be in love with Alice; Alice starts to figure out the same thing with a little help from Harriet. It’s just oh so dramatic.

     

    "And why would you hurt her?"

     

    "I just feel like I still have a lot of unhealed scars from the whole Dana thing. But it’s not like I don’t want to get past it. I want to move on more than anything. I just…can’t allow myself to be with anyone else yet. It’s still too soon for me. I mean, I’ve been with other people since the breakup, but that wasn’t like how it is with Jules, you know?"

     

    "I’m not sure I understand," Harriet replied.

     

    "Well, with Jules there’s an emotional bond that’s formed. And it’s great being able to have that connection again with someone. I guess I just don’t think I’m prepared to complicate the whole thing with sex yet."

     

    "Okay. Does Jules know that?"

     

    "Yeah. And she says she’ll wait for me as long as she has to, until I’m ready. But I just…"

     

    Harriet raised her eyebrows encouraging Alice to finish her thought. The writer opened her mouth to continue but closed it quickly when she realized she wasn’t quite sure how to word it. She dropped her head and focused on her hands, which she was now wringing in her lap.

     

    "I’m just not sure if I’ll ever be…ready, I mean," came the response, almost in a bare whisper.

     

    "Not ready to commit yourself to Jules, or not ready to commit to anyone else in general?"

     

    "Jules is great. I mean, she’s incredible…and beautiful and patient and kind and loving. And she communicates, you know? I know exactly how she feels and she wants to know how I feel. And she’s not afraid of love, and I admire that about her."

     

    "All the things you’ve been lacking in your life lately," Harriet astutely pointed out.

     

    "Exactly. But it’s not like Dana was malicious about it or anything," the writer defended. "I know she cared about me, just in her own way. I know it was hard for her to open up and let me in…let anybody in, actually. She was just so afraid of the sort of dependency we had developed on each other, and I guess that was because she’d never let herself have that with anyone else. And logically I get all that. I know how she is and why she did what she did. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t still hurt."

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    Comments

    1. Pfft I beat that Bradshaw hands down, I’m sure she copied me actually :P Anyway on to the reason for this comment, my god this gets better and better and I sincerely mean that! I like to read Lara’s point of view even though I’m nto a fan of her character but thats probably because the show didn’t explore her enough. Dana needs to sit down, breathe and seriously re-evaluate what she wants in life and more importantly, who. Alice should be honest with Jules if she’s not ready for commitment, it sounds like she’s stringing her along from fear and that’s pretty bad even though it’s coming from a good place. Shit I could ramble on and on but I will save you the pain and just say well done! PPS :)

    2. Okay, I cried for like half this chapter, it’s that damn good. It’s like Shane said in Loud and Proud, when she told Alice that she could see Dana loves her…then asks her if she can’t see that. I think it’s always been obvious that Dana loves Alice beyond life, she just doesn’t know how to say it, and poor Alice somehow can’t see it for what it is and needs the words. Okay, so that’s my essay on Danish for the day. And yes, I heart Curb Your Enthusiasm. I was pretty sure that’s where you’d taken the sunglasses thing from, but I didn’t want to say anything in case I was wrong. I sense that you’ll be getting these two stubborn biatches together before too long, and I couldn’t be happier about it…just please have them communicate, k? Okay, I’m really done now, I swear. Love this more every time you update.

    5. Usually I completely relate to Dana as you write her, and explain her twisted motivations. :-) At the end of this update I completely related to Alice. Maybe that’s why I love this couple so much. I guess I should thank you for inadvertantly giving me the therapy I so obviously need. lol I’m glad the doctor was able to see how Dana feels about Alice. Alice can’t be objective about her interactions with Dana, nor can she trust her feelings for the athlete. As Alice was describing what eventually happens when she and Dana spend time together, it was pretty clear that Dana reacts that way because of her own feelings for Alice. Alice’s heart may suspsect that is the reason for Dana’s change, but her mind can’t allow her to set herself up for the heartache that will come. I’m so glad you had time to update. You are writing a wonderful story.

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