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If I Fall: Chapter 5
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“I resent that,” Shane protested. Alice smiled at her best friend.
“And your words of wisdom too, Yoda.”
“Thank you. So tell us about it, Al.”
”Hmm, should I start with the part where I couldn’t stop crying and turned into a blubbering mess, or the part where the instructor decided to make an example out of me to teach the class what not to do when attempting Yoga?”
“Why were you crying?” Carmen asked.
“Uh, I don’t know…it’s Wednesday, why not?” Alice laughed to herself but continued on when she received a few awkward looks signaling that no one else seemed to get it. “Um, the new cycle of pills I just started, they tend to mess with my hormones more than the last ones.”
“And what pills are you ingesting now, Alice?” Bette asked condescendingly.
“I don’t know Bette, but I sure wouldn’t mind trying the ones you’re on. You know, the ones that seem to make you so much better than me.”
“Alice!” Tina scolded. Alice sighed and looked at the veiled hurt in Bette’s eyes and immediately felt like shit.
“Look, I’m sorry. I’m just really on edge lately, I didn’t mean it Bette. Really, I apologize.”
“It’s fine," Bette replied coldly.
Alice didn’t mean to be so harsh, it’s just that she felt so abandoned by Bette since the whole breakup happened. It seemed as if Bette had taken Dana’s side, and forced Tina to make a choice too. In fact, Alice felt like there was this unspoken agreement amongst the whole group to support Dana through this and make Alice the bad guy—even though it was Dana who left her. Of course, Alice couldn’t bring herself to actually verbalizing these irrational thoughts because she could acknowledge for the most part that they were rather irrational. She knew these women were her best friends and when push came to shove they would be there for her if she needed them. But how come Alice always felt like they were rallying around their new favorite couple, Dana and Lara, and Alice was stuck on the outside looking in? True, she did make it difficult for everyone by refusing to be anywhere Dana and Lara were, but why couldn’t her friends understand that and just choose to be with her instead? She knew she shouldn’t make them choose sides, but she couldn’t see living any other way right now. That was, if you could consider wandering around aimlessly in a fog of alcohol and self-medicating “living”.
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This story just keeps getting better and better, I was so unbelieveably excited to see all my fav authors posting in the past couple of days and not one of you guys has been a disappointment. This story is just simply amazing and you portray Alice so well, I kinda feel what we didn’t see in the show is shown in this fanfic which is comforting :) I love where you’re taking this as tragic and heartbreaking as it is, it’s also f*cking brilliant. Can’t wait for the next chap. xx
whoa! could actually feel the burn of Alice’s last words. that was an awsome chapter, looking forward to your next!!
Ouch. This is painful to read, but it’s so well done that it’s worth it. This thing just keeps getting better, and it’s so much more realistic than what we were allowed to see. It’s good to see that Alice recognized Bette’s condescending attitude, it always bugged the crap out of me. Anyway, I hope some sort of resoultion will happen soon.
I see what you mean about them barely being friends. I was thinking the same thing as Muted – “ouch”, but I must truly be evil because as much as Dana may have needed to break up with Alice – the way she did it was really crappy – and I wasn’t exactly feeling sorry for her. Alice definitely needs to get herself together, and ultimately only hurts herself by holding a grudge against Dana, but I loved her parting comment. Bette is definitely an unforgiving pain in the neck, but hey – we need all kinds to make the world go ’round. I was surprised that you made the time to update because I know you must be super busy. Maybe you’ll be able to sneak a few more updates as class assignments… Well, it was worth a try. :-)This story does keep getting better and better.
I know its cruel to laugh at someone else’s misfortune but this is very funny and very sad…PPS
Six months is a long time to avoid someone. There’d have to be an undercurrent of tension that made it hard on everyone, not just Alice and Dana. As for them “choosing” Dana, it’s maybe just that Dana’s appearing to be a bit more “in control” since the breakup. Bette and Al… well, Alice wasn’t that tolerant of Bette’s “weakness” when she cheated on Tina, so I guess Bette’s being intolerant of Alice’s. Being pally with Helena probably isn’t helping matters. They obviously still care about each other or they couldn’t hurt one another. Those two (B & Al) need to talk. And all the above notwithstanding, six months *is* a long time for the group to have to choose to spend time with either one (Al) or the other (Dana). It’d be draining. See? Your post made me think. Keep ’em coming, I’m really into this story.
God! I thought that watching the break up and awkwardness between Danish was bad, but you write so damn crystal clear and perfect that I think this is harder to handle! Please update again soon, seeing as how I fucking love this story! And by the way, I still have one more chapter to my Danish story. Maybe if you update again soon, I could work out an update from me! ;-)