“Is it love or lust?” Nikky…. I don’t open my eyes

“Nik-… don’t”

“Can you please just… answer my question” I don’t have to look at her to know she’s hurting. I can hear it. I open my eyes and look at her,

“What’s the difference?”

“Humans fight wars over lust, but they make homes and families for love, that’s the difference.”

“But…… love and lust are intertwined. Lust is ground zero for hormones …it’s nature’s way of bringing us together. In fact….. without Lust, it’s doubtful that love would have a chance to be successful at all…. And love like lost…. It’s truly blind….”

“Right, which is why, especially at the beginning of a relationship, it can be hard to tell whether you’re in lust or in love.”

“So… how can you tell the difference?”

“If it’s lust…. You’re totally focused on looks and body. All you think about is sex. You make excuses not to spend time with her… except for sex. You leave after sex. No cuddling, no breakfast the next morning, just, ‘I gotta go.’ Lust is a heady experience; the brain goes on hold and red-hot surges of testosterone run the show. But…if it’s love… you … you um, get… lost in the conversations. You find her beautiful when she wakes up in the morning. You can’t get enough of her. You think about her all the time. The simple things she does are the things that make you go crazy. She can do anything and you, you will still be able to forgive her… because uh… because you know that you can’t live your life without that person… and can’t go a day without missing that person. That’s…. that’s love.”

Now tell me. What do you say to that? Tell me because if you know I swear to god I would kiss you and hug you, because right now all I want is to say something that will make her happy… but without lying. How can I break her heart? She doesn’t deserve to get her heart broken. I am not worthy….

“So… Tell me Carmen… is it love or is it lust?” she says with tears in her eyes.