Five seconds later she starts crying hard and drops down to the corner of the bathroom floor crying. I get out of the tub to go to her and hug her. She starts crying to my chest and I can’t help but cry too… I can’t help to curse the day I stepped in LA again.

“Baby please don’t do this… please, please just don’t” she says her hands on my hair as she’s crying, looking at me with pleading eyes.

“Nik-”

“I can deal with what happened. I do, I can. I just can’t have you out of my life… please Carmen, don’t do this to me please, please. I love you… I need you.”

“Nikky don’t cry”

“I love you Carmen…. She doesn’t deserve you. She never will. She doesn’t appreciate you… but I do. I live for you baby.”

“I don’t deserve you”

“You do! You do baby… please you can’t… you’ll learn to love me?”

“I DO LOVE YOU”

“Then please don’t leave me… please, please… choose me. Choose me because I will never take you for granted, because I take care of you, because I fucking love you so much Carmen. You have my heart, my soul, my everything. And I forgive you; I forgive you for what ever it is you have, had with her… I can live with it… but I can’t live without you.”

“… I don’t know what to say Nikky”

“Say yes. Say you’ll stay… say you love me, say you won’t leave me, say you will forget about her… because that’s what she is, she’s the past. I’m sorry she’s in the hospital but I don’t care, she is your past and I want to be your present”

“You are”

“Then don’t do this…”

I kiss her. Salty but perfect, a passion I never felt before with her…. she’s now wet because of pressing herself to me. We carryon kissing until we run out of breath.

“I love you” she smiles when I say that

“I don’t want sex right now, this isn’t lust…” we laugh a little.

I get up and grab a towel to dry myself, and then follow her to bed. We lay there looking at each other for minutes. 

“Do you like it here?”

"I do… LA I mean. People are crazy though…I ran in to a girl in west Hollywood yesterday who asked me to pose with her in a pic because she was going to send it to some casting agency…”

I laugh,

“That’s the thing here… Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be." We laugh together, “You know um, after all this passes… I have this field I bought years ago. On the mountains here in LA… I wanted to built a home here, so I thought, maybe we could do it together?”

“Here? In LA?”

“Yes, 10 miles after Johnson’s street. The view is really amazing….”

“So… we are gonna be together?”

“Yes”

“And Shane?”

“…I don’t know”

“Fuck Carmen! Don’t fucking say you want to build a house with me and then tell me you don’t fucking know what’s going to happen between you two”

I say nothing, I don’t know what to say.

“…Fuck you Carmen” she storms out.

Yeah um… I think I’m gonna throw up.

TBC