“You are the perfect one”

“But you’re not the perfect one for me….” we look at each other tears falling slow from her eyes and then she starts laughing

“I had all this things I was going to say to you to make you come back… all this wonderful thing lined up perfect to say it to you and make you fall for me again… I would practice everyday in my head… and some of them I said and still… I cant get you to love me…” she laughs again “But for the record… I miss you… I miss you everyday, every minute every second of he day… I cant touch anything without a memory of you and me doing the same… I missed your eyes, nose… but the thing I’ve missed the most is you smile… I think you have the perfect smile… and different smiles too… for everything you have a smile… I miss you body… your hands… soft hands… your Latin talk…. Dirty talk… the dancing…your hips moving side to side and everyone giving me a dirty look because you were with me… I was with you… I’ve missed our fights… your sleep talk… your cloths… your smell… your shampoo… you legs… mouth… I’ve missed spooning with you… everything… you… and I just… want to make that clear… it was a mistake to live you… and for that mistake alone… I know I’m going to die”

I’m trying my best not too cry… I really am… in my dreams, I would picture her saying this perfect things to win me back… but they don’t come close to everything she’s said… I love her… I know that… I don’t want to but I cant lie to my self… all I want right now is to kiss her and make all my pain go away… the more she keeps talking the more it hurts to be away from her… I can’t cry… I cant….cause then she would think is because I still have feelings for her… and I clearly do, but showing them to her would only make it worst….right?

“………………… You’re not going to die Shane….”

“Don’t you get it Carmen? I believe in the heart as the source of love… I do… it sounds stupid but… I don’t think it’s a coincidence that when I don’t have you, that when we are not together… my heart stops…. My heart suddenly doesn’t work… you see Carmen… I need you to keep me alive… you are my heart… you make me live…”

“SHUT UP SHANE SHUT UP!… I cant take it no more ok… I cant… I get everything you are saying….I…. I… I fucking love you Shane, I do, I’ve never stopped… and right now all I want is to kiss you and make the last 5 years disappear… but I cant…. I fucking can’t Shane… so give me a break here…”

“Don’t leave me…”

“Don’t you see? Don’t you understand? You’re the love of my life…. I can’t leave you. But you’re constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want; you come back when you want. …Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me…. So I’m asking you, to please don’t say anything right now and just… I don’t know… let me breath, let me presses everything…” her eyes never leave mine… “and stop looking at me like that too”

“Do you think I wanna look at you? I would give everything anything not to be looking at you… but I cant stop”

In surgery there’s a red line on the floor that marks the point where the hospital goes from being accessible or of limits to all but a special few. Crossing the line unauthorized is not acceptable. In general lines are there for a reason. For safety, for security, for clarity… If you choose to cross the line you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it… that the bigger the line… the bigger the temptation to cross it… should I cross it?

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ok… i want a big puddle of comments from here and out… i expect more out of you people… don’t just say ‘loving it’ no… comment… thats the whole purpose of this thing… speak your mind about something… in this case this fic… dont you people vote?… its the same thing… soo… comment lol PS: i love you all!