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    Is this love 42-46

    ++
    After her tearfully exit from dinner Emma had expected to be invited to have lunch with Rosemary a couple of days later. So it was no surprise when she came out of a telecom to find that Rosemary had called and had left the time and venue of where she would be for lunch. She arrived five minutes late after needing to deal with an over anxious client. Rosemary was sitting reading when Emma arrived
    “Hello”
    Rosemary looked at her and beamed “Its good to see you “
    “Sorry I am late – I was reassuring a client –have you ordered because I missed breakfast and I am starving “
    “No I was waiting for you “
    “Right –lets get that out of the way and we can talk – did I see a menu over there ?”
    It took five minutes before orders where placed and they were both comfortably sitting with coffee. Rosemary gave Emma a “look “
    “I am sorry for leaving so suddenly the other night “
    “Melvin told me – I was upset – I would hope that you could rely on Melvin and I . That’s what old friends are for “
    “I know and I do appreciate everything that you and Melvin have done for me so far. Its good to know that I can turn to you “
    “How are things with Tina ?” Rosemary asked
    “A little better “ Rosemary braced herself to give the excuse as to why Tina couldn’t make it to the anniversary party.
    “I was talking to her yesterday – she really seems the most delightful young woman”
    “She was brought up right “ Emma said wondering why she never saw Tina at her “ most delightful “
    “I mentioned the anniversary dinner and she checked her diary and she said that she was utterly thrilled to be invited as you have told her all about Melvin and my cooking apparently.
    I said that I would tell you what time I wanted everyone there from and you would pass that on. Is that okay ?”
    Emma tried hard not to look speechless. Over the years it had paid her career wise to develop a poker face and this was one occasion when it was more vital than ever. She did her best to get her head around this information – Tina had seen Rosemary and she was now attending the anniversary dinner. Damn and blast. That made her look like a liar when she had said to Tina that the dinner was just for the three of them.
    “Are you okay Emma ?”
    “Yes – I wasn’t sure if Tina was going to be able to make it “
    “Well I did wonder if you had asked her because she seemed surprised but she was delighted. I do like her very much Emma – she is just so sweet and charming. It is going to be wonderful to get our daughters in the same room at last. “
    “You know after all our efforts they might not get on “
    “Oh Emma – you always were the grumpy one. Bette and Tina are going to be great friends. Anything after that is just up them isn’t it ?”
    Emma had fought enough court cases when the client was as guilty as sin to know what a losing battle was when it was fell in her lap. She had to just accept that Bette and Tina were going to meet and it really was up to that thing that Melvin had called her on not believing – namely fate. Maybe they would get on like she had first hoped.
    “Yeah – it is up to them now”
    “I am not worried – we have done what we planned to do – which was to get them in the same room. What I am concerned about is how upset you obviously were – is your relationship with Tina so bad ?”
    Emma sighed “I hear you talking about your relationship with Bette and I do envy you. You and Bette seem to be friends as well as mother and daughter “
    “We are”
    Emma had thought about lying about her relationship with Tina but there was no point. She needed to work on it and she needed to make things better and that was going to take work on her part.
    “Kate was my best friend – she was my soul mate and my saviour in so many things – so was also friends with Tina. We both tried so hard not to fall in the male/female relationship of parenting whereby I was the provider and the boss and I did all the strict stuff. But maybe that would have worked better if I hadn’t been so alpha and expected everything to go my way or else. Tina has always been moderate and easy going – like Kate. They spent more time together – they were friends while for a long time I was just the scary mommy who Tina was afraid of . Tina told Kate when she was about 13 or 14 that she was gay. She didn’t tell me – maybe she couldn’t or she just assumed that Kate would tell me. There are times that Tina is more like Kate than my memories of her. she laughs like her and she is soft spoken and gentle. All the things that used to push my buttons with Kate – all the times I would pick holes in something that she did and she would just let it all ride over her and that would make me more angry than I was originally. Tina may look like me but in personality she is mini Kate”
    Rosemary was silent – Emma shook her head
    “I don’t handle it well – I don’t handle her well. I know she has been through a bad time since her mom died but I don’t seem able to help her – I just seem to hurt her with every new feeble attempt at being her mother. I don’t mean to do it but I put my big foot in it so many times. And I can see how hurt she is when I get all pompous and tell her that her mother would be disappointed with her “
    Rosemary winched
    “That does seem insensitive “ she said casually
    “I know and I tell myself not to do it but I do – I hurt her “
    “Do you ever sit and just talk to her ?”
    “Unsurprisingly she doesn’t want to spend much time with me – I can’t say I blame her “
    “I don’t know the answer to this but I suspect that when Kate died you didn’t get any counselling ?”
    Emma raised an eyebrow
    “I know – not the sort of things that our generation does is it ?”
    “No – Tina did get therapy after Kate died but “
    “Lawyers in charged of big New York firms don’t do such things”
    Rosemary filled in the blanks
    Emma nodded
    “Maybe Tina is getting better while you are still bottling it all up”
    “I just need some time off – which I am trying to do. I do want to be closer to her “
    “Why does she annoy you ?” Rosemary asked
    Emma sighed “If there is one thing that I have never been able to abide its squandered talent and ability. Tina has so many skills and she is wasted in that stupid dead end community centre “
    “You object to her helping people less fortunate than herself ?”
    “Not really – I object to her wasting her life when she could be doing anything that she wants to be “
    “Maybe she is happy doing it “
    Emma shuddered “It’s the most ghastly place – it’s a rough area. That’s something I hate – she isn’t street smart – she is trusting and a little innocent. If anything happened to her …”
    “You are afraid of where she works ?”
    “It’s a terrible area. I was there one day and there were discarded syringes on the stairs. She’s my only child Rosemary – if “
    Rosemary put her hand on Emma’s “Sweetheart I am sure that she takes every precaution with her safety. Do you think that you might be over reacting a little “
    “Your daughter owns a gallery in one of the most prestigious places in the city “
    “And you think that she is less likely to be robbed or mugged ?”
    “Yes “
    “Bette was mugged about four years ago and she was hurt because she fought back “
    “Oh – I am sorry “
    “Rosemary sipped her coffee “For a long time afterwards I worried myself sick about her but she helped me to see that its such a random thing that its not worth getting wound up about every day. 9/11 affected us all but as a population we all had to get over it and carry on. You really need to do something with Tina that just breaks the ice with her . I am sure that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with your relationship that some work and time cannot cure “
    “She is pretty angry with me and I don’t actually blame her –I am a rank bad mother “
    Rosemary sighed “Emma – she is your child – she will always be your child whether she is 6, 16 or 56. Maybe she is a little scared of you – that’s probably because she wants you to be proud of her and she thinks that you aren’t “
    “I am – I don’t say it or show it but she is my pride and joy. I don’t know many women who I think are good enough to date her “
    Their sandwiches arrived – Rosemary eyed Emma who looked upset
    “Well its just as well you know what a good family Bette comes from isn’t it”

    Comments

    1. Hi allyemmerson,

      A long update does help to pas the time while we are battered with another storm again here in the Netherlands.

      What would help is another long update from you this weekend!

      I still don’t like Emma even though she seems to be more open about her failings. She should talk more to Tina and saying she is proud at her and love her regardles of where she works or who she has a relationship with or whatever, and stop being a ass to Tina.

      It is really good to see the friendship between Bette and Helena, they know each other so well and will always stick up to or for each other. Helena gives Bette really good advice and know how to talk sense in to her. Lovely to see!

      You think i can pursue you to post a few chapters more?, Maybe by taking over your task to being a butler for Rocky, so you can write and update?

    2. Thanks for the great post, Ally. Good to see Sir Rocky is still managing your life. Emma has just let Tina have a life. She needs to a listener nit a pusher. It will be good for Bette and Tina to come out and reveal their relationship. Stay warm and dry from the deluge. Feed up Rocky and write like he tells you.

    3. Sometime people respond to things in a manner that is over the top. Tina getting angry with her mother because she is pushing her toward Helena is understandable. But Tina knows that simply is not going to happen. Not getting the anticipated invitation is a disappointment. Having her mother actually lie to her is a major violation of the mother/daughter relationship. Emma should have just extended the invitation to Tina and allowed her respond as she wished and then carried the message back to Rosemary that she would or would not attend. She should have told her that Bette would be in attendance before she made the invitation. Her lying about this and now that Tina knows she lied will not help to strengthen her relationship with her daughter.

      Emma so not like a lawyer. Most lawyers question everything and never make assumptions. They rely on evidence including spoken representations. When Tina said she was not in a relationship at the moment (even though a lie), she should accept that. She should never think that a lunch where two people are enjoying each others company is any more than a lunch between friends or business associates no matter how much you wish for more. Emma’s propensity to make assumptions and judgments is just over the top especially when it comes to her daughter.

      Bette’s response of Emma’s hurting Tina’s feelings is somewhat over the top as well. I got a feeling that she is going to need a lot more cardboard if she is going to have a long term relationship with Tina. Emma will always be Tina’s mom and she will always say something which will be off-putting to Tina. Even with counseling, Emma may improve, but she will never change her basic tendency to speak first and think second when it comes to Tina.

      Tina will have to get into a mode where she calls Emma on it or she will never change. Emma has to see exactly where she is overstepping the boundaries of being a parent and being controlling. Being willing to listen to Tina and hearing what she is feeling is the first step. Maybe after Tina discloses the relationship with Bette next week will start the process. I hope so.

      Great writing…..love this book….and who is Rocky?

    4. I love this story. Emma is royally messing up her relationship with Tina and will cause long term hurt if she continues. Part of me wants to excuse her meddling because she is clearly grieving but a bigger part of me wants to shake her and make her see how much she is hurting Tina. Emma should have learned from losing her wife that time is short but sometimes that lesson doesn’t happen like it should. Looking forward to the next chapter and to reading about the shock on Emma’s face when Tina comes out of the Bette closet so to speak. Thank you Ally.

    5. Thanks for posting that many pages.

      Gotta love Helena, she really is a great friend not only to Bette but to Tina as well. Thanks for the Walter Scott quote. “what a tangled web..” simply is timeless and describes to much of human behaviour. It’s time that they reveal their love to their parents. Stop all the plans and secrets and have it out in the open.

      Helena is right. It’s Tina who has to stand up to Emma. But I guess Tina will get there. She getting more and more confident while she and Bette strengthen their relationship.

      As for Emma, I think Rosemary is right – Emma should get help to come to terms with the loss of her wife. Maybe get councelling while being on vacation and out of town.

      Can’t wait for more. It would be such a treat if you’d post a little more this weekend. Do you like cake? I could bake for you ;-)
      Stay safe with the storm going on!

    6. Just back from an interesting few days on the East Anglian Coast opening up my bolt hole to a forecast of Snow here in the Derbyshire peaks so delighted to have a longer post of this delightful story, thank you.

      Love the TiBette relationship here.
      Don’t think Emma’s Profession is anything to do with her bad treatment of Tina! As a retired Lawyer I would say that though wouldn’t I :-).
      I think Emma is not dealing with her grief at losing Kate.

      Looking forward to our journey with you through this story.
      Thank you for posting, PPS
      SG

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