“Seriously “Tina began “He does like you “
“Seriously he likes you a whole lot more “
Tina decided to ask a question that had been bothering her for a while
“You “she said “Are possibly the most gentle, polite and charming woman I have ever known “
“Well thank you “Bette said
“Having met your parents I can see where you get it from and I know how much it matters to you – you have amazing dignity and that’s one of the things that really struck me about you that first night “
“Are you buttering me up for a reason ? “
“Why does James act like you are a scary monster – and Helena makes the same jokes about how fierce you are “
Bette smiled “Partly it’s a joke – but the real reason is that I do have to be scary tough at times and let rip and be a real so and so. I started as an assistant gallery manager when I was 22, I got sacked after 4 months for basically being useless. Looking back, I wouldn’t have let me stay as long as 4 months. It’s a tough business – like the TV and movie business and I wasn’t tough enough so when I got another job, I was a different Bette Porter. I wasn’t hard but I did have a very tough exterior. The change was astonishing – in my first job I didn’t sell anything and I lost the firm money in fact – just by pretending that I was a tough cookie I made sales, I brought business in and all of a sudden, I was a good gallery assistant manager. When I decided to open my own gallery, I had to get tougher still. It’s my livelihood – I need to pull off the good deals and to get the best artists exhibiting at my gallery not the one three blocks away”
Tina smiled “I haven’t thought of that but yeah – I can see that. It’s just that I cannot imagine this wonderful woman who I am sitting close to – I can’t imagine you being tough “
“I also “Bette sighed “The first thing I knew about you – even before I knew what you looked like was that you had been in a bad relationship. Maybe that influenced me – I didn’t want to scare you off – not once I knew what you looked like “
Tina scratched her eyebrow for a few seconds before looking at Bette
“I do think about her – it was a traffic accident of a relationship. But it taught me a lot about myself and I know what I don’t want in a relationship and what I do want “
“I hope what you want is what I can give you “
“You “Tina said “Are beyond my wildest dreams Porter. Not to give you a swollen head but you are just wonderful “
“I don’t annoy you yet?”
“There are moments “
Bette smiled “You want to tell me about them or is it part of my charm that I have flaws?”
“Yeah “Tina’s voice was very dry “That would be it “
Bette laughed and shook her head “You have a great sense of humour – that’s what I really fell for – you make me laugh “
“According to my mother – your mom told her pretty early on that you had a strange sense of humour”
“Me! “Bette said in indignation “That’s an insult – I have a great sense of humour”
“It can take a tiny little bit of getting used to – you say things and at first I didn’t know whether you were being serious. I know now that its sarcasm and I love that about you but at first you do have to do a kind of pause while you work out if you are being serious or being silly”
“And now “
“Now I get it – I get that you have a very dry sense of humour – I like that “
“I wonder what else our mothers have said about us “Bette said
“Well we could try asking mine when we have dinner with her “
“How did you leave it with your mom? are the two of you all friends again?”
“She took me by surprise – I was expecting another fight with her so to have her climb down and be so reasonable was odd. “
“So, is this a peace or a truce?”
“She is going to have to prove herself. Your mom is just wonderful – she couldn’t be happier about us, could she?”
“Mom has always been ultra-cool about me being gay – it’s never bothered her. But she is old fashioned enough to worry about me finding the right woman. She wants me to be in a steady relationship – I think I got away with it for a while but when I got close to 30 she started to harp on about it being about time I stopped spending long hours at the galley and started being serious about finding the right woman “
Tina smiled “Kate – she was the one who always asked me if I was serious about a woman – she’d say – is she the one Ti ?. Emma – if she thinks that way, she doesn’t say it “
“Mom wants me settled and ideally she wants me to be a mom “
Tina glanced away – she had heard that a couple of times from Rosemary Kennard. It wasn’t going to be a conversation that she felt comfortable about having
“I keep telling her not to put pressure on us “Bette said smiling
“I mean we have only been together just over three months – my mum is jumping the gun a little bit – that’s something for a conversation much further down the line”
“If at all “Tina said softly
Bette looked at Tina sharply
“Did I say something wrong?”
“As you say – its early days but I don’t think I want kids Bette “
Bette looked at Tina – this conversation was in danger of causing them a problem. Bette did want kids – she knew that she wanted to carry a child and give birth to it and bring it up – bring it up with her life partner. Why the hell had she not thought that Tina might not feel the same way as her? why had she made such a huge and as it now turned out WRONG assumption?
All of a sudden all of Bette’s insecurities surfaced and made her feel suddenly less secure with Tina and very afraid that she was going to lose her.
“You don’t?”
“I don’t know but I don’t feel maternal and I think I would be terrible at it and well – it’s not something that I think about – is this a problem Bette?”