“It’s no good Bette – my feet are killing me – I need to sit down – we have been dancing for over an hour”
“No stamina “Bette replied smiling. She had to admit that Tina did have a point. They had been dancing for a long time and while Tina had complained about her feet for ten minutes Bette had stayed silent about how much her left calf was throbbing
“I admit it – I am a weak individual – come on- let’s sit down and have a drink – in fact lets have several drinks “
Bette pulled Tina closer and kissed her on the lips “As its you “
Tina took Bette by both hands and looked deep into her eyes “It’s amazing to be with you and see how other people check you out and for me to know that I am your partner and that they can all look as much as they want to but they don’t have what I have “
“I don’t want anyone looking at me “
“Tough luck – you are the most stunning woman in the room and I get to take you home tonight and know that you love me “
“Well – about that – there have been some offers “
Bette waited the two milliseconds before Tina realised that she was having her leg pulled and she got the inevitable good-natured slap, Bette laughed and kissed Tina again
“I am kidding “
“You better be – I have a jealous streak “
“I am – come on – let’s see what mischief Peggy is getting our two mothers into “
Holding hands Bette and Tina returned to their table just as a tall distinguished looking man took Peggy by the hand and was leading her to the dance floor. Bette winked at Peggy who smiled with ill-hidden snugness. Emma was sitting on her own looking around the room. She beamed at Bette and Tina when they sat down
“Are you two okay – you both dances very well “
“Thank you “Bette said smiling “It’s the first time we have danced together and she is a great dancer”
“There seemed to be a lot of discussion about who was leading and who was following “
Tina laughed “You might say that – Bette likes to lead but then again – so do I – it’s a dilemma”
“And how did you solve it?”
“I gave in with under the agreement that the next time we went out I was the one who did the leading “Tina explained
“Your mother and I had the same problem “
“You did?” Tina sounded surprised
“You seem to forget that your mother got her own way a lot of the time “
This was not how Tina remembered things and it showed on her face
“Usually by looking at me with those big blue eyes of hers and breaking my resolve – how else do you think you got a kitten when you were growing up when I am scared of the things ?”
Tina nodded “I had forgotten about Charlie – he was our cat when I was little – jet black he was –I loved him “
“Charlie had three passions – being near Tina – being near Kate and waiting until I was totally engrossed on anything and leaping out at me and scaring me. They do say that cats know when people don’t like them and make directly for them – Charlie proved that to me “
“Poor you “Bette said laughing – this seemed to be a softer and more agreeable Emma. She wondered if Peggy and her mother had been ganging up on her – regardless of the reason Bette found herself less on the defensive than usual around Tina’s mother.
“Where you really scared of Charlie?” Tina asked
Emma smiled “I must be a good actress – yes I was very wary of him. But Kate loved him and so did you – I remember you trying to put him in your school bag when you were 5 “
Bette laughed “Do you know I have heard no embarrassing stories about you – unlike all the stories that my mother has been blabbing about me “
“Well we will have to deal with that Bette. What I was going to say was that Kate and I had the same problems when we started dating – in those days we did dance properly. Anyway, we compromised and we took turns. Then when I became founding partner I always lead because as Kate said it wouldn’t look right if I didn’t “
Tina nodded – interesting story. She lifted her foot up and removed her shoe “My feet are killing me “
“No stamina “Bette repeated
“Be careful or you will be carrying me home tonight “
“I have done before – all the way to bed “Bette suddenly realised how that sounded and looked at Emma to see if she had reacted. She was smiling
“Why don’t you get Tina a drink Bette – she might perk up “
“That’s an idea – what do your fancy babe?”
“Any chance of a beer – I know the place is awash with champagne but a beer would really do the trick”
Bette nodded “I must admit I could do with a beer – what about you Emma?”
“Nothing for me thank you – Peggy, Rosemary and I have been overdosing on champagne and while I can more than hold my drink in normal circumstances, I have to admit that I have met my match in Peggy”
“I agree “Bette said “I have seen big, brave men felled just because they think they can keep up with Peggy – and Helena for that matter. Where is my mother by the way? “
“Your mother was heading to the ladies when she left the table – you know what she is like – she is probably mingling. I was hearing some stories about you from Peggy and Rosemary “Emma said
“Oh God – not again – what skeleton from my past has been aired this time?”
“Something to do with a Grand Piano “Emma raised an eyebrow
“Oh no “
“WHAT? is this a story about Bette that I haven’t heard?” Tina looked at her mother
“It’s a good one “Emma said
“SPILL PORTER” Tina said at once
“I am going to get two beers “Bette replied “I might be some time “
When Bette had vanished, Tina looked at her mother
“So, tell me “
“I think it’s a story that Bette should tell you herself – how bad are your feet?”
“Throbbing “
“You two have been the centre of attention for the last hour – you make a stunningly beautiful couple”
Tina looked for the hidden insult in the comment and couldn’t find one
“Thank you – she’s something else, isn’t she?”
“I am yet to meet anyone who isn’t totally in love with her – including my own daughter”
“And what do you think of her? you haven’t been very enthusiastic about us “
“No – no I haven’t and I am sorry “
Tina looked at her mother
“Mom – I haven’t felt this way before – not for any of the other women. She is different because she is so kind and thoughtful and everything. She’s “Tina shook her head – there were times when words just failed her when she was trying to explain her feelings for the brunette. She had been trying to explain how things were going to Shane and she’d just ended up crying in happiness.
“She leaves you speechless – that’s some woman “Emma smiled kindly “Darling – if she is the woman for you, I couldn’t be happier for you. I just know how hard things have been for you since your mom died and your last relationship wasn’t what you needed at the time when what you did need was love and support “
“Bette’s different “Tina said
“She certainly has her fan club “
“Which you haven’t been persuaded to join “Tina persisted
“I know how vulnerable you have been and the last thing I want to see is you being hurt. I know I am not brilliant at showing my feelings but I swear to you Tina that your happiness is the most important thing to me”
Tina was shocked to see her mom close to tears – she wondered just how much she had drunk if her emotions were so close to the surface. She hadn’t had that much to drink and what she had consumed earlier seemed to have been soaked up by the food and the dancing. Tina looked at her mother for a few minutes – as much as she’d been hurt by her lack of enthusiasm, she did still love the annoying old bag. Tina moved to the seat next to her mother and took her hand
“I know – you just have standards for me that I have never come close to matching and I know that my new job isn’t what you would have wanted for me”
“The new job I knew nothing about “
Tina looked ashamed “Yes – I am sorry about that. I have been mad with you “
“I know that but it hurt to be told by Rosemary that you have a new job “
“I am sorry – it was wrong of me and I should have realised that you would hear about it from Rosemary”
“Tina – I can’t compete with Rosemary Porter in terms of home cooked meals and idolising her daughter’s girlfriend – I am just not like that. Kate would have been different, wouldn’t she?”
“I have been thinking about how mom would have got on with Bette “
“She would have been very impressed “Emma said and she sighed “We both miss her still “
Tina nodded “Sometimes it seems that you don’t want to be reminded about her and other times you talk about her so freely and with so much love “
“Your mom and I were deliciously happy “
“I know “
“Do you? – Kate was a truly amazing woman but she had her flaws and so do I. Recently it seem that she’s been nominated for sainthood while I have been booked for a one-way ticket to hell for being an evil person “
“No “Tina objected
“Ti – I know I have never been the mother that Kate was but I never once – not for one minute – I have never not idolised you honey. You are my flesh and blood- you are my daughter. I don’t say it enough – or even at all but I love you”
That made Tina tear up – she rubbed her eyes
“Oh mom “
“I am sorry for all the horrible things I have said “Emma continued “But I want the best for you and the thing that terrifies me is if you got hurt by Bette “
“Mom – Bette would never hurt me – she’s the best. You must have seen how she is – she is so old fashioned and kind. Mom – she’s the one “
“I hope she is Tina “
“Bette’s different – she’s not out for what she can get. She has a fan club as you say because she is as genuine as she looks “
“I said some terrible things to Helena earlier – doubting Bette “
“Mom – I don’t doubt her “
Emma squeezed Tina’s hand – tears were streaming down her face “I have had to watch as my beautiful and loving daughter slowly just disintegrated because of Kate’s illness and her death and how that affected you. I used to come around to see you and you barely had enough energy to get out of bed – that used to devastate me. I have been trying to egg you on and all that has happened is that I have alienated you to the extent that you can’t even tell me about a new job. Yes, I am a fearful snob but nothing you could do would make me you any less wonderful in my eyes. If you want to know why I have been worried about Bette I will tell you “
“Go on “
“I said to Helena that I didn’t think that girls like Bette ended up in long term relationships with girls like you “
Tina’s eyes searched her mothers for an explanation for that comment – it seemed just hurtful to her and Bette.
“You just said that I was wonderful “Tina tried to find the words
“You are – Bette is a player. A few months after I met up with Rosemary and Melvin again, I saw a pal of mine who had seen the three of us out and she knew Bette was their daughter. She said that Bette was unofficially known as the hottest lesbian in New York – she was a player – the players player in fact “
“I know she was a player – but that in the past – she’s not a player any more – she’s faithful to me and I trust her “
“I was terrified that my vulnerable little girl was getting involved with the biggest tigress in a city that has more tigresses per square inch than any other city in the world. Tina – I am not Rosemary or Peggy who know about lesbians second hand – I am gay too and I know what the scene was like in my day and it was a jungle. I tell you the world of corporate law is nothing compared to what the lesbian scene was like in my day and I was a player”
“Mom said that – she once told me that you could have had any woman you wanted “
“I could have had and I did. It was hard for me to settle down once I met your mom”
“Why?”
“Because I had been used to going into clubs and having women drool over me “
This was not an image that Tina wanted to contemplate – this was turning out to be a very strange evening – first a new, well-paid part-time job offer courtesy of Peggy and now this confessional session from her mother – this was going to take some late-night dissection with Bette.
“But you didn’t get bored by that?”
“You really think anyone’s ego is not massaged by being wanted so much – by being desired and approached by all sorts of gorgeous women?”
“But you got over it?” Tina wanted to know
“Yes – but it wasn’t easy “
“Bette’s not interested in all the adoration “Tina said defensively
“She must have got off on it “Emma pointed out
“I don’t know “
“She did – and if she says she didn’t – she’s not being honest with you “
“You mean lying ?”
Emma shrugged “I thought that Bette was a player and all I thought that would happen was that you would get your hopes built up and broken and I couldn’t see that happen to you “
“But you were trying to get us together “
“I was until I found out just how high up in the hot gay women hierarchy Bette is “
“Was “Tina said “Bette WAS high in whatever this world of eligible dyke hierarchy. She isn’t any more – she’s off the market and that is how it’s going to stay. Bette and I – we’re permanent “
“I hope you are – I know how much you love her”
“You say that but what you don’t say is how much Bette loves me. Bette’s old fashioned and yes that’s probably because of her mom and dad but it’s also because of how she is as a person. Deep down she’s shy and insecure – I couldn’t love her any more than I do and I know that she loves me. I have never looked into another woman’s eyes and see the sheer force of love that I do with Bette. The first few times it was scary – the first few weeks I just didn’t know how to deal with it and it used to physically terrify me to see the raw desire and love in her eyes. When we started to dance back there someone made a comment about us being too pretty to be gay – I was furious but then I looked into her eyes and I just saw Bette’s love and the comment just faded away. I know it all sounds silly and the stuff that romantic fiction is made of but it’s how I feel. And that’s never happened before – it’s just awesome and I know that Bette feels the same things for me. She is really good at talking about her feelings “
“Unlike your mom “
“It’s not easy to talk to you sometimes mom “
“I know – and I have been pulled up by Rosemary and Peggy about it. “Emma sighed “They want to fix me up with some eligible single woman. They were insistent about it “
Tina smiled “You are going on a date?”
“I somehow don’t think that I am going to be able to avoid anything when Rosemary and Peggy get their heads together do you ?”
“No – Peggy is a force of nature I guess “
“How would you feel about that? about me seeing other women?”
“I seem to remember you promising mom that you wouldn’t stay single “
Emma wiped more tears from her eyes “I miss her babe “
“I know “Tina said hugging her mother – maybe for the first time she had finally been let into her mother’s very private grief – a grief that Tina had never known for certain existed.