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    Missing.

    Story written on January 6, 2007 by New Dawn Fades.
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    16 votes, average: 4.31 out of 516 votes, average: 4.31 out of 516 votes, average: 4.31 out of 516 votes, average: 4.31 out of 516 votes, average: 4.31 out of 5 (16 votes, average: 4.31 out of 5)
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): ,
    Number of Comments: 8
    Words: 2239
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=63893
    Author Notes:

    Something always missing, always someone…… missing something…

    Missing.

     

     

     

     

    I can’t swerve to save your life cause then I’ll loose control…..

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Ch 1

     

     

     

     

    You think you know everything. You think that you are making all the right choices. That you are done paying the price. You get tired of complaining about the same things all day everyday. The scheduled arrival of your predictable pain. Your baby he doesn’t want to hear it anymore. Even he knows you are crying in a corner about her. He is bitter you’re 4 year old. He misses his talks; he misses the cool things that they would do.

     

     

    He doesn’t want to hear about Iron Man or Captain America….at least not from you. He losses interest in the way you read the stories to him. He just turns on his side waiting for you to take the hint. He waits for you to get the fuck out. He actually says it to you one day and you wonder how a 4 year old knows how to curse you out.

     

     

    Almost as soon as you think it you know. He learned from her. You know he heard her saying it as an after thought. She said it enough back then when you weren’t a shell of your shelf.

     

     

    Your mornings start the same way. You get up alone. No hot kisses on the back of your neck. No warm sweaty hands groping you, making you feel awake. Making you feel loved. Nope the hands are gone, the lips are gone. The magic of her tongue and fingers and eyes….gone. The way her voice dips below a whisper yet you hear her loud and clear….gone.

     

     

     And this is how everyday starts.

     

     

    Alone. A prison of your own making.

     

     

    So this is me complaining bitching moaning and groaning about a choice I made that I didn’t think through, that I didn’t fully consider, a choice I made out of guilt and shame and shock, trauma, fear of not being able to be a good mother to my son. That normal glimpse into who I use to be making me feel so out of control. Pictures on a wall of who I use to be. A mirror with a foreign reflection. That glimpse into the real me. The me I use to be.

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    Comments

    4. I didn’t find Marco’s behavior funny at all (sorry 2BMe). Call me old school, but I believe that a child should have respect for his/her parent no matter how pissed off they are (there are very few exceptions to that rule, none of which are even CLOSE to being embodied by Marco and Carmen). It pisses me off when kids and teenagers now-a-days mouth off to their parents as if they were equals. Guess what? They’re not! Never will be. And for a four-year-old to speak like that at all is disgusting. Sorry about the rant, NDF. It’s just that your stories always evoke strong emotion. I get all rile up because I get so into it (so, really, it’s your fault. you should be apologizing to me. :P kidding). You always do a fantastic job at putting the audience right there with Carmen, Marco, and Shane, and this update is no exception. I can’t wait to see what’s in store. Awesome, awesome job.

    5. fuck yea shes back!!!!!!!!! i think she need 2 find like a girl that remind her of carmen then carmen would see her and BAMb!! more drama haha lol ok dont pay me any atention… i love thissssss im likeeee….. like super happy right now you make me a happy person all my friends and familly thanyou very much for that lol

    7. Your stories are beyond amazing. I love the way you write. Please get Carmen and Shane back together! I really want to have Carmen track Shane down.

    8. So glad this saga will continue although I knew it would! It’s time for Carmen to go after Shane because Shane is right she gave everything to Carmen! Anyway just my opinion, can’t wait to read more. If I have’nt said it before; your writing is simply captivating.

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