New York Minute

Chapter 104

Tina sipped her coffee and shivered as she watched the arrivals board at Grand Central Station. It was easier for her parents to come to New York on the train rather than tackle the bad weather and roads of driving. So Tina would buy her mom a ticket online and she could collect it at the station in New Jersey. Central Station was a beautiful building – years of living with the architecture obsessed Bette had given Tina an appreciation of the structure. Tina walked around for a few minutes keeping warm – she was glad to see the arrival of her mother’s train being posted on the arrivals board. She walked towards the gate so she could greet her – her mother was a little short sighted and she didn’t always see Tina until she was right on top of her. Tina saw her mother well before she saw her – Mary was wearing a black duffle coat and a warm hat. Tina smiled – it hadn’t been easy but slowly they were moving towards a decent relationship. Mary was still occasionally guilty of treating Tina like she was a child forgetting that she had a child of her own but Tina had expected some teething problems. Bette still had issues with Jack and Mary saying that things would have been different if Tina had been able to tell her family that she was gay. Tina didn’t want to rock the boat but she knew that if it came up again she would have to say something.
“Mom “Tina called as Mary came through the barrier and was only a few feet away from her. Mary looked around for a few seconds before she spotted Tina standing.
“Hello darling – how are you?”
“I am fine – freezing cold”
“Yes – I don’t remember it being this cold in Carolina”
“I have lived in Carolina and then LA – moving here was a shock to my system. I just didn’t have boots that wouldn’t leave me on my ass in the snow”
“And are you getting used to it?”
“I am – the crazy thing is that Angie who was born in LA took to the bad weather so easily – she just loves being out in the rain and this weather is just the best as far as she is concerned – crazy kid “
“And how is she and Bette ?”
“Both are great – Bette has a bit of a cold which always means that I fuss over her – would you like to get out of the cold and have some coffee ?”
“I would love something to eat and drink”
“I know a great little place about a block away – you okay with walking?”
“Of course “
Tina dropped her empty coffee cup in the trash and they walked out of the station. The snow which seemed to have been around for weeks was finally starting to thaw and the forecast was that it would get warmer during the rest of the week – just warm enough to get rid of the snow which would be great. They chatted about Bette and Angie and Jack on the way to the coffee shop. Once inside they both removed their coats – Mary was wearing a thick cable knitted cardigan
“Have you been knitting? That’s handmade “Tina said
“I made it a few years ago – I went through a knitting phase – I should start again for something for Angie “
“Okay – what would you like to eat?”
“What I would really like is some toast and a large cup of tea”
“Okay – that is what you shall have. I think I have earned something like a pastry because I was in the gym this morning before it was light “
“That sounds very early – why was that?”
“I just woke up at a crazy time this morning and there was no way I was going to be able to get back to sleep again so I went and used the gym at the top of the building. I feel very good this morning”
“That is good “
Tina went and got the food ordered that they both wanted. She came back with the drinks and sat and faced her mother
“We have a favor to ask – well I think it would be good for all of us “
“Of course sweetheart “
“Thanksgiving is next week – would you like to come and stay for a couple of days with us. We can cook Thanksgiving dinner together – there will be the three of us and our friend Shane.”
Mary nodded “We were going to invite you to New Jersey but Thanksgiving in New York would be wonderful “
“We have a lovely second bedroom next to our room – with its own bathroom suite”
“I am sure your dad would love to be with you at Thanksgiving – we have so much to be thankful for – meeting up with you and Bette and Angie would be just fantastic. You will have to let me do all the cooking “
“We will do the cooking together – it would be nice to make Thanksgiving dinner with my mom – that’s one of the things I missed out on “
Mary beamed “Your father will be utterly thrilled when I tell him”
She took a sip of her tea “Is this okay with Bette?”
“Of course- she thought it was a great idea – why would you think that Bette wouldn’t think it was a great idea”
“I really like her – she is just not as chatty as you “
“She is quiet – that is just the way she is – she’s been such a part of us getting together as a family – you cannot doubt her mom”
“I don’t – I think she is lovely – maybe it’s just because she is quiet”
“She has stuff on her mind at the moment – actually can I tell you about it ? I would like to know what you think of this “
“Of course darling – it’s what mothers are for “
Tina sighed and stirred her coffee thoughtfully
“Bette has a half-sister called Kit – she is much older than Bette and they have never had the easiest relationship. Bette says that her first memories of Kit is Bette trying to hide the fact that she was drunk or high from their father. Kit has major addiction issues and when I first started dating Bette she was a real nightmare – Bette was always going and bailing her out literally. She finally sorted herself out and her relationship with Bette improved. But when Bette really needed her – when she was falling apart – she abandoned Bette. When we split up Bette needed someone to be on her side – to listen to her and to be there. It couldn’t be me because of how I felt about her infidelity but it should have been someone. Maybe if someone had been there for her she wouldn’t have left the state and moved to New York. I know that Bette was really shocked when she received an invitation out of the blue to Kit’s wedding – it was the wedding where I met her again and that was how we started again. But when we went back in January we got such a hostile reception. It was awful – we were so thrilled to be back together and Angie was just so besotted with Bette – the others – our old friends treated us like shit and left vowing never to go back”
Mary listened and nodded “It sounds like they couldn’t deal with you forgiving Bette”
“You are right – they couldn’t and I hate that – if I had forgiven her why couldn’t there and anyway – it’s none of their bloody business. She cheated on me – on our marriage and if I can forgive her and put it all behind us and look to the future – why can’t Kit and our other friends “
“I can tell you feel strongly about this”
“I utterly hate injustice and they treated Bette like shit – she would never have done that to any of them. I know that it hurts her way more than she lets on”
“I can imagine – you always want to protect your partner – it’s not easy “
Tina realized the hurt behind her mother’s words
“I am sorry “
“Its okay sweetheart – I do understand what you mean – I found it hard when people spoke about your father as if they really knew him – did any of them think they knew him more than his own wife. So yes – I do know what you mean and I know that it’s frustrating – so what is happening with Kit now?”
“Roger – that’s her husband contacted me last week – he is working in New York for three weeks and he asked to see me – so I met him and he told me that Kit is drinking heavily again and he wants Bette’s help”
“That’s some cheek ! “Mary exclaimed
“I know and that’s what I think”
“So what does he want Bette to do?”
“He thinks that maybe Bette would be able to talk Kit into getting some help and I suspect – though I don’t know because he hasn’t said so – but I suspect that he also wants Bette to fund a spell in rehab “
“Sounds like he cannot control his own wife – what makes him think that Bette can help when he cannot and no one else can?”
“I suspect that he is out of his depth big style – she was sober for so long and she had got herself off coke as well. This is a complete regression “”
The waiter arrived with breakfast for both women. Mary tucked straight into her toast which made Tina smile – her mother always loved toast. It was her comfort food – a fact that Tina hadn’t thought about for a couple of decades. Mary looked at her daughter and smiled – it was real progression that she was talking to her about problems that they were having – that was good and Mary hoped so much that things would keep improving. She finished a slice of her toast and took a long drink of her tea before speaking.
“As a recovering alcoholic – you are only one slip – one moment of weakness away from falling off the wagon and getting all the old problems back. How long was Kit sober – how long has she been drinking?”
“She was dry for over a decade – apparently she’s been drinking for about 2 years. Roger didn’t think that the odd drink was an issue for Kit because she said that she could control it”
Mary laughed “That has to be the greatest lie that alcoholics tell themselves – I have heard that so many times “
“Have you had any relapses ?”
“No – because it does scare me how quickly it would take me to be back to all my old bad habits. I drank because I couldn’t control the situation I found my life in. I wouldn’t divorce Jack and move on so I was left as a prisoners wife – that’s hard.; I didn’t think that I would ever see my oldest daughter again and – well the least said about my youngest child the better. I felt like an utter failure – drinking took some of the pain away -by replacing it with a totally different sort of pain.”
Tina nodded – she knew she would never understand the things that had driven Bette and her mother to drink to excess she did know that both women had conquered enormous demons to get sober and well again.
“I don’t want Bette to get involved – we have so much ahead of us and this will only cause her pain and I do want to stop that pain”
“Would you help Kit if you could ?”
“No “Tina said with some hesitancy
“That’s okay – why?”
Tina sipped her coffee “Because I don’t think Kit will listen to her – she holds her in such contempt at the moment – she was out and out hostile to Bette when we went back. We used to hang out in one café – one that Bette and Kit co-owned by the way. I have spent so much of my life in that place. And walked back in – as a family – the three of us and the atmosphere was truly terrible. Angie picked up on it immediately and she wanted to leave”
“There is no need to upset a child – that is bad “
“That was how I felt – and Kit was a part of it – she was sure that Bette couldn’t be trusted not to break our hearts again. That made me so angry because it doesn’t take into account how loving Bette is – I hated that. I hated seeing Bette bracing herself for the abuse and the snide remarks she got. She didn’t deserve that”
“Sounds like what would happen if your dad and I went back to Carolina – we would be shunned “
“If Kit will not listen to her husband and all her friends – then she is not going to listen to Bette. If anything – seeing Bette could make things so much worse. From what we have found out Kit can be hostile when she had been drinking – Bette doesn’t need that – I won’t let her take that abuse”
“She – Kit I mean – will not change unless she wants to – then she needs help. As you say Bette’s appearance could make her worse “
“I also don’t see why Bette should offer any hand of friendship when she got not help from Kit when she needed help”
“That’s not an argument I would agree with – just because you have been treated badly doesn’t mean you should hurt anyone else. Your dad has a saying that I imagine he picked up from all the reading he did in prison and since he was released – he says holding a grudge is like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. You cannot hold grudges”
Tina nodded “I know that you are right in principle but I do feel very protective towards her”
“The two of you obviously love one another “Mary said smiling
“We do – I don’t think you keep finding your way back to one another the way we have without there being something just pre-destined about us. She has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met and I know that she wants to do the right thing. I just don’t want the right thing to mean that she gets hurt. She has been through too much already – I guess you feel this way about dad “
Mary nodded “I do – he has adapted really well to being out but he still has problems. I have to say that meeting you again – that’s really been the best tonic for him. He just adores Angie – I don’t think he ever thought he would have a grand-daughter and he is just loving having her in his life. We are both thrilled that we have you back Tina “
“Thanks – it means a lot to me “Tina sighed and took a bite of her pastry. After a couple of mouthfuls she put it down again
“I am not being mean to Roger but I don’t want Bette to get involved with someone who has always been a toxic influence in her life. “
“You are right – has Bette met Roger yet? What is he doing over here?”
Tina smiled “Try not to laugh but he’s a drag queen “
“Drag queen?”
“Yes – a big muscled 6ft 4in tall drag queen “
“Quaint “she said in an understated way “So are you two going to see Roger and talk to him?”
“Yes – Bette wants to go and see him in his show – she’s curious as she’s never seen him in his full outfit and she wants to talk to him”
“What do you think Bette will do?”
“I hope that she will tell Roger that she doesn’t intend to get involved “
“But you don’t think she will “
“I think Bette wants her sister to love her again and she sees this as the only way that it might happen. I understand why she wants Kit to love her again but I don’t think for a second that Kit gives a shit about her – I don’t know what the hell to do to protect Bette from being the kind person that she is “