Seriously, you wont be able to recognize the place when you get back.

I cant wait, Carmen said softly as she looked out the window of her room, as if she was able to see Shane somewhere out there in the desert, in her snug fitting jeans and a wifebeater with a cell phone next to her ear. They were silent for awhile.

I miss you, Shane said softly, finally.

Carmen pinched her eyes shut to keep her eyes from crying. The words stung her, right in her chest and it felt like she couldnt breath.

I miss you too.. god you have no idea how much.. I cant wait to be home, to be with you, Carmen said, trying hard to keep her voice even but it cracked several times, making her take a pause before speaking again.

Shane sighed. This sucks.. being without you, she whispered.

I know.. Believe me baby, I know, Carmen said. She heard some noises coming from the stairs then and she recognized Julians voice, swearing in Spanish.

Oh shit, I think Julians coming in. Gotta go. Im so sorry.. Ill talk to you later okay?

Okay.. dont be sorry. I love you, Shane said.

Love you too Shane, she said and against her will she flipped her phone closed. Just in time, cause the door flew open and Julian hurried inside.

I dont want to talk to him! he yelled to the hallway before he kicked the door closed.

Jesus, Julian! Whats the matter?! I say worriedly as I walk over to the bed. He stands in front of me and I notice hes already that much taller than me, not that its a difficult task to be taller than me. He snorts and I recognize the angry fire in his eyes, like Carlos used to have all the time.

He called me, Carmen. He wants to see me, he said, his voice an angry whisper. He sits down on the bed and covers his face with his hands. I kneel in front of him, reassuringly stroking his knees.

Who, papi? I ask. Julian doesnt answer. And I guess you dont want to see him?

No! I dont. What is he thinking? He fucking calls me, like once in a year, thinking that Im dying to see him. Like hes doing me a favor when he says he want us to meet again, Julian said, shaking his head.