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    Once it is Spilt

    Story written on August 22, 2005 by rachel_raj.
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    62 votes, average: 3.44 out of 562 votes, average: 3.44 out of 562 votes, average: 3.44 out of 562 votes, average: 3.44 out of 562 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5 (62 votes, average: 3.44 out of 5)
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 9412
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=56203
    Author Notes:

    Bette and Tina, past and present. A series of short vignettes that span from pre-series, through season one and to the end of season two. [Complete]

     

    If she sleeps in the bedroom, of course, she wakes up and feels unfinished, too, like she fucked someone else and did things all wrong.

     

    She deserves this. But it’s still too quiet and she can’t sleep and the room doesn’t smell right and it’s Tina’s fault.

     

    XIX.

     

    It’s all Bette’s fault that she can’t sleep, anyway.

     

    She won’t blame it on Alice‘s couch; that’s just petty.

     

    Bette just has this way of shifting just when Tina wants to shift and breathing at all the right times. She just does. Somehow her hair knows when Tina doesn’t mind it being all over the pillow, and it knows when she does mind, too, and it acts accordingly.

     

    She never minds, though, because it’s just perfect.

     

    Without Bette, though, Tina feels anxious when she shifts and is much too self-conscious about her breathing patterns. She misses the hand Bette would put on her hip, like it made any difference. Like if a murderer had broken in and tried to kill them, Bette would’ve protected her with that hand, right on her hip where it was supposed to be.

     

    It’s so corny. Tina hates corny. Bette makes her feel safe. That’s corny. More than that, it probably shouldn’t be true anymore, but somehow, it still is. Somehow, if Bette were here right now, she would feel safe.

     

    She’d feel angry, conflicted, and emotional. But safe.

     

    XX.

     

    Helena Peabody is many things. Rich comes to mind. A bit spoiled. Dominating and overbearing. Extremely *****.

     

    Not Bette.

     

    Despite the fact that Bette is very well off, the slightest bit selfish, controlling, arrogant, and extremely *****, they are not at all alike and Tina doesn’t want to compare them.

     

    This is difficult, though, because she likes it when Helena touches her, but she likes it even more when she pretends it’s Bette. She doesn’t do this often, of course, and most times they’re together she’s just Helena. Helena has soft spots and smooth edges to her; she doesn’t show them to anyone and Tina likes that she’s the exception to this rule. Helena spoils her and gives her attention and is sweet and understanding a good deal of the time. Tina enjoys her company. She never compares her to Bette in those times.

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    Comments

    1. Dare I say this piece, these pieces is/are revolutionary, the stream of consciousness that is Tina and Bette and their relationship. Gorgeous, cerebral and intuitive as is your great talent. I truly look forward to your next offering. By the way I can’t help but opine that not all of B&T has been told…

    4. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.

      Ohsofuckingamazingwow!!! To state that you blow me is so not a command but a sheer lack of appropriate words of praise. To say that you move me doesn’t even do it justice when I just saw the whole Bette-and-Tina thing at the speed of light.

      And WOW! is all that I can manage for now.

    5. are you jenny? your writing style reminds me of her – that’s a compliment. You are so complex but, true to emotion in your writing. Absolutelyfuckinamazing! Great stuff!

    7. I wish I could write like this. Your words are so simple yet spellbinding. Loved the pieces where neither one felt complete while sleeping. The bond that you weave through the pieces were strong and so…Bette and Tina. :)

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