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Once it is Spilt
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XVI.
Bette doesn’t understand addiction because her mind works on levels that are more logical than emotional. For years, she felt nothing but derision towards Kit because she didn’t understand why Kit couldn’t just put down the damn drink and step away. Bette smoked for years, but she doesn’t even consider that to be a valid addiction-it was nice, easy, something she could control. And when Tina asked her to stop, she stopped. Simple.
She’d wanted to get caught; she wasn’t stupid.
Pain is addictive. It is. Bette doesn’t consider herself a ***** or anything, but she does believe in retribution, and retribution manifests itself in pain. The ***** is good, it isn’t great. It’s painful, though, and it makes her feel like ***** and she deserves that.
Tina doesn’t see it that way, of course, but Tina wouldn’t because Tina doesn’t understand addiction, either.
Tina doesn’t see it that way because it looks like she’s still cheating, but she doesn’t know that Bette’s in pain. She doesn’t know, or she doesn’t care. But Tina doesn’t understand.
XVII.
There’s a patch of flowers by the fence that Bette thinks she ought to just throw out because she doesn’t know what the ***** to do with them.
Tina can move out. That’s fine. Everything gets fucked up and Tina moves out. And how selfish of her to forget about the flowers.
The bed is never made and Bette doesn’t eat right. It isn’t out of heartbreak; Bette Porter is not the type to stop eating just because she’s upset. She realizes, though, it’s just that she never knew how to eat correctly in the first place and this doesn’t make it any better.
She forgets to take the mail in and she leaves the newspapers on the front porch. But it’s the flowers that are getting the worst of it. They’re dry and they’re abandoned and Bette thinks this is selfish of Tina to forget.
Everything gets fucked up and the flowers die.
XVIII.
It’s all Tina’s fault that she can’t sleep, anyway.
It’s too quiet.
And the room doesn’t smell right. That’s it.
If she sleeps in the living room, though, she wakes up and feels unfinished, like she never went to sleep and did things all wrong.
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Dare I say this piece, these pieces is/are revolutionary, the stream of consciousness that is Tina and Bette and their relationship. Gorgeous, cerebral and intuitive as is your great talent. I truly look forward to your next offering. By the way I can’t help but opine that not all of B&T has been told…
Beautiful and moving. That’s all I can say.
4, 7, 8, 9, 13, 14, 18, 19, and 22. Enough said.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow.
Ohsofuckingamazingwow!!! To state that you blow me is so not a command but a sheer lack of appropriate words of praise. To say that you move me doesn’t even do it justice when I just saw the whole Bette-and-Tina thing at the speed of light.
And WOW! is all that I can manage for now.
are you jenny? your writing style reminds me of her – that’s a compliment. You are so complex but, true to emotion in your writing. Absolutelyfuckinamazing! Great stuff!
That was absolutely, positively gorgeous. Thank you for sharing. You’re very talented :)
I wish I could write like this. Your words are so simple yet spellbinding. Loved the pieces where neither one felt complete while sleeping. The bond that you weave through the pieces were strong and so…Bette and Tina. :)
very nicely done! thanks!
that was awesome! thanks!
Your work is stunning. I am completely blown away by your talent. Thank you for sharing.
beautiful.
I’m a little late in the game with your writing, but this was…this was…WOW! I love it. Truly amazing.